Junky Limbo

Other bloggers have alluded to it (here, and here) but, now that more than a few days have elapsed after finishing the bar, I'm struck about how numb I still feel. I feel like I'm sleepwalking through most of my days. I'm really tired, want to sleep all the time, and feel like I'm coming down with, or off from, something. I'm also having a really hard time relaxing and am not sure what the hell to do for fun. I was really looking forward to reading, going to the movies, and generally catching up on all the things I've missed while living, breathing, and dreaming about the bar. But, now that it's over, none of these things have seemed particularly appealing. Its been nice to go out and get wasted without feeling guilty, but thats about it. To use an imperfect metaphor from Trainspotting, I feel like I'm in junky limbo ("too ill to sleep, too tired to stay awake..."). Obviously I'm not craving to redo the bar, but I do feel stuck in limbo between the high wire act that was the run-up to the bar and the aftermath of what was an extremely stressful and time consuming event.

I guess these feelings are inevitable after having devoted every waking moment to the bar for nearly two months, still I don't remember feeling this worn out and dazed after the first bar. Ive been surprised at how little I've been mulling over the individual questions or stressing about whether or not I think I hit the right issues, nevertheless I can still feel the bar lingering in the background more or less affecting everything else I do. It's weird to feel letdown after living through such a shitty experience for the second time. I know that this will dissipate over time, but I'm very much looking forward to the near future where the bar, either directly or indirectly, doesn't dominate everything I do or feel.