Thursday, December 21, 2006

Greatest Line from an Administrative Action...

From Political Animal

"The precise definition of "shitbag" is unclear, but Complainant and Respondent agree that it is a derogatory term."
Link

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Why I hate the California Bar...Part III

The model answers are finally posted for the July 2006, California bar exam. I haven't had much time to look them over yet, but I couldn't help but notice that someone inserted an answer for a contracts essay involving the sale of computers as the model answer for Question 1. How this relates to an intentional torts/negligence question is beyond me.

I didn't originally plan on posting one screed after another detailing the incompetence of the Committee of Bar Examiners, but once again they've made it impossible not to. I can't imagine that it would have been too difficult to match the model answers with corresponding questions. But then again, I obviously failed to demonstrate the level of perfection - as demonstrated by the Committee - necessary to pass the exam.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Thanks to Law School...


... I see possible torts everywhere. According to recent census data:
More people are injured by wheelchairs than by lawnmowers, the abstract reports. Bicycles are involved in more accidents than any other consumer product, but beds rank a close second.
Wonder if any PI attorneys specialize in bed injuries?



Thursday, December 14, 2006

Why I Hate the California Bar: Reason #10 Billion Part II


According to page 4 of the yellow Information for Unsuccessful Graduates, the selected answers from the July bar were supposed to be posted by the first of December. Of course, two weeks later and they are nowhere to be found. This isn't my most urgent concern at the moment, but, given the utter lack of feedback on my returned exam is, it would be nice to at least have something to compare them to. Par for the course, I guess...

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

PMBR is Awesome

I received a envelope from PMBR today inviting me to re-take any number of their course offerings. According to PMBR, I'll “need to re-tool and get mentally prepared for the next go around.” This was obviously a shock to me as I had no idea that either would be particularly useful the second time around. I also learned “the essays and performance tests are also very challenging and often time graded in an arbitrary and subjective manner.” This passage piqued my interest and caused me to wonder how exactly is PMBR going to help me prepare for such an arbitrary challenge (I also wondered whether or not I had somehow slept through the portion of the six-day course that discussed the PT and essays).

The letter invited me to call to "discuss my situation" and "how to prepare for the upcoming exam", which I promptly did. Unfortunately, the service rep clearly had no idea how one could surmount such an arbitrary and subjective challenge, much less what I might have done wrong on the performance tests, but did helpfully inform me that I could pay an additional 995 dollars to take the “Ultimate Tutorial.” Naturally, all questions concerning what exactly makes this tutorial more ultimate than the six-day course went unanswered.

PMBR also helpfully enclosed a few testimonials, which would make even Trotsky blush. According to Yulia, she is so pleased with PMBR that whenever anyone asks her how she passed, she responds by writing “PMBR, and highlight[sic] it in yellow, circle it in red, and underline it in black.” Any momentary compulsion to pick up the phone once again and talk to PMBR a second time was quickly overcome by an even greater interest as to how Yulia manages to always carry one yellow, one red, and one black pen with her whenever she is asked about her bar passage. She is obviously more resourceful than I, which probably explains why she passed and I didn’t. The best letter apparently came via email from an individual, who not only managed a feat of technological prowess that continues to eluded me – namely figuring out how to place his handwritten signature in the body of an email, but this person also announced that he is “open to a deal if [PMBR] would be interested in using [his] name and score in [their] promotional materials.” There was no indication from the letter whether or not PMBR did in fact take him up on his offer.

Nevertheless, and despite all of the exceedingly persuasive testimonials, I’ve decided not to re-take PMBR. I don’t really see the point. I managed to pass the MBE, while bombing the essays, and therefore feel that my time would be better spent working on my essay writing skills. In the end I thought that the PMBR materials were significantly better than BarBri’s (I know some may disagree), but felt that the class was more or less a waste of time (as was BarBri’s MBE weekend lectures). So I’ve decided to use my trusty eraser and resurrect my red and blue books in an attempt to eliminate another drain on my meager bank account..

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Why I Hate the California Bar: Reason #10 Billion

As I was filling out the yellow sheet to pick up my exam when I came across a notice that unless I paid 40 bucks to receive a copy of my exam (as opposed to the original), I would permanently waive any right to apply for reconsideration. In light of the previous post, I seriously considered paying to preserve this right, but I couldn’t find a working bank machine and it was raining, so I decided to fuck the 40 dollars.

All I can say is that after quickly scanning my test packet, thank god for the rain and general laziness on my part. Apparently, when you get your test back, there isn’t a single marking or notation that would allow one to figure out how the grader arrived at the particular score on a given essay.

Once again the California Bar has found an ingenious method to bilk even more money out of the whole bar experience. It’s a veritable catch-22. You have to pay the 40 bucks before you see your exam in the hopes that you might be able to challenge the test, but of course have no opportunity to determine whether or not the additional money is worth it by viewing the test beforehand. I’m sure quite a few individuals are lured into the trap, but in the end it’s a total scam. So, I’d like to congratulate the Committee of Bar Examiners for finding yet another ingenious way to prey on hapless bar examinees in their never ending quest to make a quick and easy buck. Fuckers.

Reconsideration

According to the yellow sheet came with my rejection letter, the California Bar Committee will only consider requests for reconsideration only in the event of an arithmetical or clerical error.

I’m sure as hell hoping that when I pick up my test this afternoon that I will find myself furiously waiving my test in the face of a bar bureaucrat while pointing to the fact that some idiot failed to calculate my score correctly. I’ve been daydreaming about a scenario like this since receiving my score, I’m sure that deep down everyone who fails the bar entertains the idea that their result might have been the product of some sort of mathematical fuck-up. I'm also hoping that I will encounter a clerical error (whatever the fuck that means) as well. Considering the level of secrecy and paranoia that the Bar seems to operate under, I doubt very much that I will get to see anything that might demonstrate the presence of such an error.

Obviously, I know that the chances of this happening roughly approximate my chances of winning the California Lottery and simultaneously getting struck by lightning. Nevertheless, I’m keeping my fingers crossed that today will be my lucky day when I go pick up my test in 20 minutes.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

A Plan of Sorts

Without exception, everyone I've run across who is re-doing the exam asks what course I am going to take or plan I am going to follow during the run up to the bar. Currently, my thinking is that I don't really see the point in plunking down another 800+ dollars on a class that is going to re-hash the black letter law. I'm also leery of hiring a tutor for two reasons. First and foremost, I don't have the cash. Second, while I'm sure that there are many fine tutors out there, my guess is that most are pretty bad. During Barbri, I would frequently run across tutoring sessions in the student lounge at school. To be charitable, the sessions were dubious at best. The three tutors I observed, without exception, would just sit there and spew shitloads of jargon that, judging by the look on the student, made as much sense to me as to them - i.e., " use the checklist to manage the approach to achieve optimal results while focusing on the goal to harness the facts to come to a conclusion." I’m also not really sure how one goes about finding a suitable tutor. I love reading the paens on jdjive to individual tutors. My guess is that the overwhelming majority of posts have got to be by the tutor's themselves trying to drum up a little business. Mind you if I was in the tutoring business I would also drop as many posts extolling my significant powers to guide even the most hapless law grad through the bar exam. So fuck classes and tutors, I'm going to figure out my own study schedule and go from there.

I'm pretty confident that I'll be able to quickly learn the black letter law. Going in to July, I was fairly weak on a couple of subjects (especially property, can't imagine that I'll dodge that bullet a second time in February) and will use the time between now and January to brush up on my weak subjects. After Christmas, I'll resume doing PMBR questions and then create something akin to BarBri's paced study schedule to keep myself on some sort of program. In place of lectures, I'll review a course and then focus the majority of my time on doing as many essays as possible. I'm not sure what I'll do for the performance test, but given my rather shitty score, I need to figure something out. Obviously, this scheme of mine will probably be thrown out the window come January, but for now it sounds okay to me.

Can't say I'm feeling particularly motivated to devote whatever free time I might have to this shit, I'm hoping that some sort of motivation will kick in soon.



Friday, December 1, 2006

Isolation

Failing the bar is the most isolating experience I've ever been through. The feeling of not really knowing anyone who is also going through this crap that I'm sure is universally attached to failing the bar is sometimes difficult to deal with. I have one friend who I know fairly well from law school who also failed, but that person has gone underground and has yet to make an appearance. I think the only reason I really ever considered re-taking Bar/Bri was to meet others who are also going through this, but I doubt that this alone is a good enough reason to plunk down another 800+ bucks to re-do the class.