Shit, so I guess a month ago today we were trying to come to terms with what was, by all accounts, a particularly nasty and brutal rendition of the bar exam. My concept of time is incredibly warped at the moment. On one hand it feels like it was a year ago, but it also feels like I just finished typing the last PT yesterday. Blonde Blogger recently pointed out that our friends over at the California Bar just released the questions from the exam. I have absolutely no interest in looking at them. I know that if I do, the few remaining hairs left on my head will immediately fall during the course of what would doubtlessly be a monumental panic attack.
I've really tried to push anything and everything bar related out of my mind, sometimes I think about it and experience a brief panic attack, but I've been surprised at how successful I've been at not thinking about that horror that was the bar. I know that as May 25 draws closer that its going to gradually become the only thing I think about. In some ways I'm glad it still aways off, at least I can try to pretend that perhaps the most important day of my perhaps brief legal career is still too far down the road to really care about. Anyway, just want to wish everyone a happy one month anniversary.
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I googled "after failing the bar" and found your blog, which resonates with me well. The only differences are that I knew upon law school graduation I did not want to work in the law, I failed the February North Carolina exam, and instead of finding a decent job, I have a high-school level job serving coffee part-time in a chain. I have experience with panic attacks and anxiety, too.
I thought maybe there would be a God who might look into my head, see that if I passed against the odds, I would use my license for public service and nonprofits. My faith failed me, as did self-studying since October. No more religion for me and no more law, either.
I must reassess my career goals and figure out what a juris doctor is good for outside the legal corridors of power. Now I need money, not public service.
Good luck to you and (I hope) to me, too.
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