Are you smarter than a fifth grader?

So Fox is pimping it's new show, "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader" to no end. I'll avoid obvious comments about how we are breeding a nation of idiots and admit that I watched the show last night. The production value was pretty low as the show was obviously thrown together at the last moment to fill the after-Idol time slot, but I have to say that watching it made me feel pretty good about myself while stuck in the midst of the confidence killer better known as the California Bar Exam. It was pretty funny watching the contestants flail around trying to answer questions such as, what ship did the pilgrims arrive on?

At times, failing the California bar made me feel about as dumb as a fifth grader, but watching the show served as a welcome reminder that no matter how stupid I might feel at the moment, there are still plenty of others out there who are infinitely dumber.

Fuck the MBE

I thought the morning session was relatively easy, but that the afternoon session was actually really difficult. It seemed that whoever is responsible for drafting the exam basically reformulated the exam to ensure that PMBR lost whatever advantage it might once have had before losing the lawsuit. It seemed to test a level of detail not otherwise contained in Conviser, and instead focused on the more obscure and technical areas of the MBE subjects. I won't hazard a guess as to how I did, but can only hope that I did well enough to make up whatever ground I lost on the essays.

A theory of sorts

Blawgin' asks a question that I've been thinking about a lot lately:

I think February is harder. It's not as straightforward. Does it make a difference that it's mostly repeaters when it comes to grading, do you think?

I don't think there's any question that today's exam was significantly more difficult than the first day last July. After failing, I couldn't shake the feeling that the July bar was probably the most strait forward exam I would ever see. The cross-overs were virtually non-existent, and the fact patterns weren't as bad as they could have been. I think today's exam confirmed this impression. It was not strait forward (except for crim law - unless I'm missing something) and if today is any indication, I would imagine that we haven't seen the last of the cross-over's.

I think that in some ways a more difficult exam is to our advantage. Yeah, it sucked pretty bad, but judging from the chatter around me, I don't think anyone felt particularly good about any of it. In contrast, last summer the general consensus seemed to be more of relief than a general sense of horror. I didn't feel particularly good coming out of the summer exam, but many people did. In the end I think that the more difficult the exam, the greater margin of error there is for us. If you couldn't remember the rules for shareholder agreements, keep in mind that most people couldn't either, whereas everyone more or less had negligence down so missing a minor issue in July could have been fatal. In other words, a more difficult exam gives us more latitude relative to our fellow test takers.

Anyway, I have no idea if this is actually true, just a couple of thoughts, I'm pretty beat so pardon the typos and run on sentences.

While we were typing...

The markets took a massive hit today, looks like the economy (and the job market) will probably follow.

Also, apparently Hollywood Madam Jody "Baby Doll" Gibson's little black book was just unsealed, much to the chagrin of a few notable celebrities.

Word

While buying a pack of smokes overheard someone ask another bar examinee if he raised the contingency fee issue in the second question. I know its mean, but hearing stuff like this makes me feel a little better.

Overheard today at the bar...

Heard two people behind me vehemently arguing about how many times Sakai failed the bar...I had no idea that he might have failed the bar once, much less several times. I don't think that failing the bar should be seen as rendering someone unfit to give advice or teach bar review courses. In fact I think in some ways its preferable. Those who pass the bar have no idea why they did, other than perhaps some vague impression that certain sections went better than others. On the other hand, after getting tests and scores back, those of us who fail have a pretty good idea how and where we went wrong. Anyway, more curious as a point of trivia then anything else.

Did anyone else find question two appalling???

That question really sucked, I also could have used an additional hour for question one. But question three was a welcome relief after the first two. The PT was okay, I probably over did it on the facts, but then again, it could have been much worse. Also could have done without the lights turning off halfway through the PT exam this afternoon. For the amount of money we pay to take this fucker, you think the least they could do is not fuck shit up.

Damn link list

Somehow, blogger just made my links disappear. I was able to rescue some of them, but I'm missing many of them. If I previously had you in my link list, please don't take it as some sort of editorial on your blog if you were there and aren't anymore. Hopefully, I'll be able to recover this after the bar is over.

To post, or not to post?

Fuck it, I'm going to post during the bar...figure I'm going to be way too wound up to actually look at my outlines, so I'll post instead. However, there is one thing that I absolutely will not do: I will not discuss the nitty-gritty details of questions (i.e., did you see that nimble dividend issue?). I really hate these kinds of discussions as they just make me anxious and want to chain smoke 42 million cigs. I recommend checking out JDJive.com if you are looking for the more intimate details of the individual questions.

Nevertheless, I will post any general observations that I might have such as, "question three fucking killed me," etc. Anyway, off to dinner, and hopefully some sleep.

A few suggestions

Just a few quick suggestions/tips for anyone who is taking the bar for the first time.

1. Use earplugs: For me these are essential to block out the random noises during the bar (countdown timers going off, chairs shuffling, etc), but, more importantly, to avoid having to listen to the brazen idiots who insist on talking about how they memorized the entire probate code and how they managed to study 20 hours a day. These assholes will also insist on broadcasting to the world how they managed to find and discuss all sorts of random and highly obtuse issues in the essays. Earplugs won’t totally block these people out, but they certainly help. Kmack has another good reason to use earplugs.
2. Time: expect that no portion of the exam will start on-time. More importantly, expect to have very little time between the morning exam and the start of the afternoon exam for lunch. The proctors work at a snails pace and in doing so pretty much ruin any chance of getting the full lunch break.
3. Lunch: Bring one. I ran out of balance bars/cliff bars on the third day, I had to wait in a ridiculously long line to get a sandwich that only made me extremely tired for the afternoon exam. I don’t get hungry when I’m stressed, but I forced myself to eat a couple of balance bars which gave me just enough energy to get through the afternoon without making me tired. Also, if your taking the test in Oakland plan for the fact that there isn’t a lot of quick food options that won’t be swamped with test takers and the business crowd, so plan accordingly.
4. Smoking: If you are a smoker and you know that you desperately crave cigarettes when stressed, go buy the patch or the nicotine lozenges for the exam. They really take the edge off, and I also find that they help maintain my general level of alertness. If you haven’t used either, test them out today, some people can’t stand the lozenges, so make sure you can tolerate them. If you get the patch, take it off a good hour before you go to sleep, as it gives many people extremely vivid nightmares/dreams.
5. Stress: I know I’m supposed to say don’t stress etc. But expect it, we've all invested too much time in this not to. However, if you find yourself stressing during the exam or blanking out, just type anything. One of the model answers online, I forget which one, contains a verbatim recitation of the fact pattern from the exam. It’s pretty clear that the test taker most likely freaked out and just wrote out the facts before moving on to analyzing the exam. I know many people disagree, and argue that you need to be as succinct as possible, and while brevity is of course preferable to barfing on the page, not writing is really the only method guaranteed to fail. The one thing that really surprised me when writing the essays was how many obscure rules and exceptions I found naturally coming to me when reading the fact patterns. Everyone feels that they don’t know anything, but I think you’ll be surprised to find out just how much you know.

Anyway, just my two cents worth, best of luck to everyone!

P.S. N at Clearing the Bar (Exam) has some excellent suggestions as well.

What the hell am I going to do with myself today?

Study, I guess. I'm pretty wound up today, like back when I could sort of credibly call myself an athlete and was full of nervous energy before game time. Not sure if I can study, but what the fuck else is there to do? I've already packed, and will be driving to Oakland later this afternoon. I guess I'll read the Caveats section in the Blue PMBR book (note: if you have the book, I highly recommend looking at it, it basically breaks down all the stupid little areas of law likely to make hapless law grads like myself confused on exam day). Hopefully, this day will pass somewhat quickly.

Last day (sort of)

Still up in the air on the issue of how much to study tomorrow, figure I'll see how much I get through today and then play it by ear tomorrow...

Cha Cha is Not My Dance

Kind of had my first minor anxiety attack this afternoon. I sat down to do the last remedy question in BarBri's essay book (July '03, question 2) and was all set to apply "Cha Cha Is my Dance," "I Puff Five Bags Daily (some may prefer "Im Doing Fine Mom and Dad"), "Very Good Dog" and the rest of Conviser's assorted catchy little phrases, only to get nailed with an essay that didn't allow me to apply any of them. I had absolutely no idea where to even begin.

I stared at it for a couple of minutes before flipping it over and reading the answer. It was at this point, after seeing the phrases "purchase money resulting trust" and "time when consideration furnished," that I almost hucked my computer out the window and headed for the nearest exit. The question sucks, and of course, its not really covered anywhere. Fortunately, I downloaded the sample answer online from the Cal Bar website, and felt significantly better after seeing that neither answer came close to matching the depth and breadth of BarBri's answer.

All I know is that I'm glad that this is almost over, it's starting to get to me, and I can't even begin to express how much I'm looking forward to finishing this miserable trip on Thursday.

A man with a can

Starting to get a little dismayed at what I've lately passed of as food. Nothing I've been eating will be featured on the food pyramid anytime soon. Food items that come in packages (ramen) and cans have made up the overwhelming bulk of my diet. Fingers crossed that I avoid scurvy or the plague during the next week...I'll resume healthy living afterwards.

The final countdown

No thanks to my neighbor and his electric guitar, I finished my pre-final review last night. I'm done with essays, finished MBEs a week ago, and may look at some of the PT task memos, but I doubt I'll get around to doing it. Instead, I'm going to make sure I know as much of this shit as possible. In particular, I want to go over the little stuff that I knew really well last time and from law school and, as a result, kind of glossed over this time (pretty much all of torts), and some of the more obscure rules that occasionally show up on the bar (i.e., business torts, stock distribution, mayhem etc). Can't believe this is almost over, I'm really looking forward to being done with this once and for all.

Wanting to go postal on my neighbor

Until today, I've had no reason to complain about my upstairs neighbor. Sure he looks like someone who devotes the majority of his time between finding himself a mail-order bride and playing dungeons and dragons, but I very much subscribe to the live and let live school of thought, and until this evening, couldn't have given a shit about whatever it is he does with himself.

I fully planned on continuing to adhere to this policy of equal parts avoidance and indifference, until this evening, when he decided to bust out his electric guitar and play what I can only describe as some sort of original composition incorporating the worst of 80s hair metal stadium rock with the type of power chords usually associated with ‘satan is my master’ style death metal. He must be some sort of genius, as only a true visionary would be able to come up with something that is literally this bad.

Ordinarily I would run upstairs and tell him to fuck off, but I’m afraid he’ll sacrifice a goat or something and totally fuck me for the bar, also since he doesn’t complain when I throw parties in my apartment, I see no reason to give him an excuse to call the cops the next time I do. I Tomorrow, I think I'll point my speakers towards the ceiling and leave a PMBR CD on repeat at full volume before going to library. Fucker...

In one week...

we'll all be done with this shit, hopefully once and for all...

I call bullshit

I was in a law school library today and ran across a guy I sort of know from my BarBri class last summer. He’s not a particularly close acquaintance but we usually kick the shit around and discuss whatever it is we’ve been working on. He’s super competitive and never fails to mention how many hours a day he studies, how he’s averaging 90% on his MBE’s, and all sorts of other shit (he had also previously given me a Sakai style iron clad ‘community property will be on exam’ guarantee that he would pass the bar last summer, so much for that one). Today, he told me that he’s been averaging well over 12 study-hours a day, and after pretending to be impressed, I went back to memorizing my community property outline for the last time.

I only stuck around the law library for about 5 hours, but I have to say that between talking on his cell phone, checking email, and talking to everyone else about how much work he’s been doing, I’d guess that he might have managed to put together a grand total of 2 hours on anything remotely related to actual study. Obviously he considers checking his dating profile on match.com in his daily 12 hour study-a-thons (I wasn’t snooping, but his laptop was directly in my line of site). The one thing I’ve learned from law school, and the bar for that matter, is that pretty much anyone who feels the need to brag about how much work they do, or how much time they put in is utterly full of shit.

I realize that the law and gamesmanship are basically synonymous with each other, nevertheless, it is kind of satisfying to watch someone who is so obviously full of shit fail to back up anything he says. Anyway, enough rambling, time to get back to the never ending joy that is civ pro.

Merde

I can't believe that there is only a week to go. I guess time flies when you're having fun, or something like that. Can't wait to be rid of this shit once and for all.

BarBri's Graded Essays

I thought I'd enclose a response to an email I just received from a friend, who is taking the bar for the first time, wanting to know how I did on BarBri's graded essays, and whether I thought that they had any correlation to failing the bar.

Based on my own experience, and others I've talked to, I think its safe to say that there is most likely no correlation between the grades received and actually passing or failing the bar.

I think the context in which they're graded is important. I don't know how many graders BarBri actually employs, but my guess is that the number is pretty small. Judging from the extreme delay between handing them in and getting them back, I think its also safe to say that regardless of how many graders there are, they must be seriously overworked. Add the sheer number of exams involved and I think its pretty easy to see why they can't carefully read each essay.

Second, the comments on my essays/PTs were border line nonsensical. On several occasions, I received a note that I had neglected to discuss a particular sub-issue when, in fact, I had discussed it but failed to put it under a separate heading. It seemed that the graders were really only reading the headings to check issue spotting and then barely reading the rest of the essay. Further underscoring this point was the fact that I passed all but one the essays. With the email deadline looming, I retyped and handed in the property model answer with just enough variation so that it wouldn't look like it had been copied. When I did finally get it back (after almost three weeks and several complaints), I was somewhat surprised to find that I didn't receive a passing score. It was fairly obvious that whoever graded it barely looked at it. I will say that some of my essays did have fairly detailed responses, but this was definitely not the norm.

Finally, several of my friends failed most, if not all, of the essays but passed the exam. On the other hand I passed all but one of them, but nevertheless am studying for this a second time.

In short, I think it is a big mistake to get caught up in what you did or didn't get on the assignments. In the end, I don't think there is any substitute for knowing the material as cold as possible and performing on exam day.

The Nightmares Begin

Guess it was only a matter of time, but had my first bar related nightmare last night. Had a few before the bar in July (usually involving my laptop bursting into flames mid-test), but was surprised that they really began in earnest after the bar and again just before results in November (almost always involving near photographic recall of individual MBE questions). Last night I woke up in mid dream while trying to figure out the precise language for intermediate scrutiny (something I previously would have told you I could do in my sleep). Not the worst dream in the world, but I imagine that I'll be seeing a lot more of the bar at night during the next week.

Update: Studied Ignorance posted earlier this morning on the same topic.

My Essay Predictions

Here's my contribution to the dubious science of essay predictions....

A quick note on methodology: Not having a magic-8 ball handy, I decided to write each subject on a piece of paper and then draw them out of a paper bag. In order to control for crossover questions, I first rolled a pair of dice from an old monopoly set to determine where the crossover questions would be (I rolled 3 and 5) and then drew a total of eight subjects and assigned the extra subjects to the numbers I had previously rolled. Also, I treated wills and trusts as separate subjects, but decided to keep crim pro and crim together.

1. Community Property
   
2. Property
   
3. Crim/Crim Pro and Wills
   
4. Professional Responsibility
   
5. Civ Pro and Corporations
6. Torts

If my BarBri settlement check comes before next Tuesday, maybe I'll pony up 2.99/minute and see what the Psychic Friends Network have to say about the essays...can't be any worse than Barbri's predictions.

DISCLAIMER: The above referenced essay predictions are for informational/entertainment purposes only and were generated by the author who was in the process of getting fall down drunk for the last time before the bar. As such the author cannot take responsibility for any reliance in whole or in part on said predictions.

Best of Craigslist

The Best of Craigslist is one of my favorite sites to procrastinate on (basically the best of the rants and raves section). Its not updated as frequently as I'd like, but the most recent update has a post that is somewhat related to what we're doing... Top 10 Law Firm Interview Questions.

After I posted, found this job posting on Craigslist via JdJive. Don't know who in their right mind would work for this asshole.

Real Estate Litigator - Top Dollar Paid (San Jose Downtown)
Well respected San Jose firm seeks Plaintiff's litagator with track record of VICTORIES. We specialize in Broker/Agent Fraud and Breach of Fiduciary Duty cases. If you don't have real estate trial experience, please don't waste your time. Depending on your results, you can earn up to $250,000.00 per year or more. Strong ethical values a must. Easy to get along with a must. Ability to work independently a must. Winning the cases CRUCIAL. If you qualify, please email your resume with salary/compensation history AND a synopsis of your five most successful victories, whether at Trial, ADR, or settlement. If you don't respond to ALL of the above, unfortunately you will be eliminated from consideration. Will consider a contract attorney.

Mneumonics

Una dona fantastica makes a hell of a good point about mneumonics:

As I mentioned in a previous post, some of the Adachi mnemonics are pretty odd. Like, the mnemonic for crimes, for example. What does "SAC BIMARK ALBERT PURE CF H" even mean and how is it supposed to be helpful to remember the crimes? I think an average person would waste precious time during the exam trying to remember the mnemonic itself. At least "ME BITCHSLAP REARFUCK BAR" (using the exact same letters) would not only be easy to remember but it would also provide the necessary motivation to learn the law. I think I will have to send Adachi an email concerning this...

Considering that the various bar review courses exist for one purpose, to make money help us pass the bar, I can’t understand why they always beat around the bush and make things more difficult by giving us utterly incomprehensible mnemonics. According to PMBR's Evidence MIG 9 (MIG being the Multistate Issue Graph - why this deserves a mneumonic of its own is beyond me) if you take the time to learn the following clusterfuck, ADDEM P. BOPP, SEE ICI you will then know all the hearsay exceptions. I'm sure if Conviser, Adachi, Feinberg et al actually took the time to come up with phrases such as "ME BITCHSLAP REARFUCK BAR" that the pass rates out of their classes would skyrocket. I guess America's more puritanical impulses also extend to the bar.

I See Dumb People

As the bar once again draws near, it seems that the idiots are emerging out of the woodwork at an alarming rate to offer misplaced words of encouragement and advice. I don’t know if stress is causing me to turn into a caustic asshole, but my tolerance for this shit is currently at about a one out of ten (with zero being a nuclear meltdown and ten being Mother Theresa like tolerance for all).

Today, a soon to be former friend from law school called to tell me that I “should definitely study property,” because “it’s a big subject.” Obviously before I received this little pearl of wisdom I had no idea that 1) I might find property on the exam, and 2) that I should study it. I think I’m going to scream if someone tries to tell me “you should take lots of breaks so you don’t burn out…blah, blah, blah.” At this point, this is easier said then done. The endless tidbits of trivia and advice are also starting to get old. I know I need to get rest and eat well, brush my teeth, and wipe my ass etc., but it’s starting to get old, really fast.

I realize that it’s probably hard to know what to say to someone you know who has failed (especially if you passed) or is about to take the exam, but I think that using a little common sense is in order.

Tactical Considerations

In light of how much time is left, its time to start making tactical decisions about what subjects/sections to push to the back burner and which ones to focus on. After today, I’m going to stop doing multiple-choice practice questions. I didn’t touch my PMBR books during the last two weeks of July, and more or less figure I'll stick with about the only thing that worked last time.

In the end, I feel that I’m going to sink or swim with essays. It was my poorest section (although getting a 50 on the second PT sure as hell didn’t help), so I’m going to spend the bulk of my time outlining/writing essays and memorizing (or re-memorizing, in my case) as much of the law as possible. I’m going to try to do at least one full length cross-over question a day, and may, depending on how I feel do one more PT (but will probably just outline it).

Sakai's Essay Predictions

From a reliable source....

More Likely

• Property (apparently he predicted easements, conveyancing, or cross over with torts)
• Professional Responsibility (so obvious you can hardly call it a prediction).
• Community Property (of course he was extremely certain on this one last time)
• Remedies

Likely

• Crim/Pro
• Con Law
• Civ Pro
• Evidence
  

Less Likely

• Contracts (remedies cross-over perhaps?)
• Torts
• Corporations
• Wills and Trusts

I wouldn't exactly bet the farm on these. Although, I did run across someone the other day who swore that she was going to spend the last week only studying whatever he predicted. Maybe I'll call the psychic friends network and see what they have to say...

UPDATE: Studied Ignorance has the predictions from Barpassers

What I'm doing now

Lately I've reduced the number of MBE practice questions I've been doing, haven't been doing as well on them lately (probably over thinking them) so I decided that I could probably use a break from them. I'm planning on outlining 2-3 more PTs between now and the Bar, but am spending the majority of my time on the essays.

I'm trying to write out 2-3 per day under timed conditions, and spend the rest of the time outlining essays and writing out the rules to strengthen my issue spotting skills. One thing I've found particularly useful is to test myself with my flashcards by typing out the answer as if I were writing the rule for the actual essay exam. I've found this to be very useful both for making sure that I learn the rules, but more importantly to ensure that when it comes to exam time I'm not sitting there trying to figure out how to translate the million elements for a particular rule into a succinct and coherent statement of the law.

Two weeks and counting

Had a breakthrough this weekend and have been studying my ass off. Still hate this more than anything. I can't wait for this to be over, but at the same time, I wish I had two more weeks to prepare. At any rate, I'm just glad this is almost done.

Notes from the Doldrums

Still massively burned out. Tried to do some Con Law multiple choice (my best subject, until today) and must have gotten less than 40% right. I'm tired, and no matter how many times I read a question, diagram the question, keep my eyes open with toothpicks, etc., I can barely focus on whatever it is I'm supposed to be doing. I'm sick of this, and now, more than anything just want it to be over.

Burned Out

No matter how hard I try, I'm starting to feel seriously burned out. I'm sick of studying, sick of thinking about the bar all the time, and especially sick of the material. I fucking hate contracts, and loathe even thinking about opening my conviser outline or doing some multiple choice questions.

I think I'm stuck in a phase where the test still seems a little too remote for me to start panicking and really hit the books hard. I'm putting in about 8-9 hours a day, of which only about 75% is actually productive. Hopefully, I'll get my ass in gear over the next couple of days and do more than I'm currently doing.

Progress Report

Had computer problems which prevented me from posting. Hopefully they've been ironed out so that I won't have to deal with a computer melt-down on exam day. More or less finished reviewing the substantive subjects and am planning on spending the next 3+ weeks focusing on practice essays, which played a decisive role in my failing score. Took a practice MBE and did well enough that I'm going to put the multiple choice on the back burner for a while. I figure that 25-30 MBEs per day should be enough to keep me in the ballgame. Need to do some PTs, but keep procrastinating. I don't think there is anything more boring than the PT.