Day 1

This may have been the longest day of my life. Woke up, went to work and tried to focus on whatever it was I was supposed to do that day. Spent the majority of the afternoon receiving inane emails and text messages about how drunk my fellow classmates were going to get before 6 p.m., and innumerable wishes of good luck.

Couldn't force down my lunch so I went for a drink with a co-worker and tried my best not to think about what was to come. Mostly I remember cursing the California Bar for making me wait all day before releasing the results. I can't imagine that there is a reason for this other than to make 8,000 nervous wrecks squirm a little more. I would like to think that there is a special place in hell reserved for those who are responsible for all things bar related. Started smoking again today and went outside my office to have a smoke. Later, began to vividly recall the contracts essay and individual multiple choice questions and to wonder whether I gave appropriate consideration to the trusts question.

Finally left work and made my way home to sit in front of the computer and watch the countdown clock ever so slowly move towards the moment that always seemed so far off yet too close at the same time. At exactly six o'clock, probably due to the vodka, I felt like I was watching myself from across the room as I calmly entered my file number and hit the enter button. One second, two seconds, three and finally a feeling of utter disbelief as I stared at the phrase "The information that you have entered does not match with a name on the pass list..." Took a shot of vodka and just stared out the window. Never felt so numb in my life.

Despite wishing more than anything that everyone had lost my phone number, began receiving an onslaught of phone calls doubtlessly asking me if I passed. Still feeling numb, I text messaged a few people the news and then turned my phone off. I don't remember the rest of the night...