Failing The Bar

Good night and good luck...

2007-11-16T17:35:00.000-08:00

Much has happened in the year since I drunkenly stared at the phrase “…is not on the pass list” on my laptop. Congratulations to those of you who don’t find yourself similarly situated tonight. But to those of you who likewise find yourselves in the same position I found myself in, I hope that this blog is of some use to you as you begin the process of picking yourself off the mat and start contemplating what steps you will take moving forward.

Now that I’m able to look back on the experience with a degree of hindsight and distance (If you read this before you check your results I hope you don’t feel that I’m fucking with karma) the following are a few things I wish I’d known in the aftermath of failing.

From experience, I know how easy it is to beat yourself up over the results. I felt stupid, isolated, depressed and found it virtually impossible to talk to any of my fellow classmates who passed. It wasn’t until I joined a few study groups and met a few others who had failed (all with topnotch credentials) that I realized that the bar is not in any way shape or form an intelligence test. Just know that you are not alone, failing the bar is not easy for anyone and no matter how isolated you may feel there are literally thousands of equally well qualified and intelligent individuals going through the exact same emotions that you will likely feel should you not pass this time around.

To be sure, weeks after learning that I had failed were nothing short of miserable as I was left to ponder the prospect of having to relive what had previously been the three shittiest months of my academic career. I also wanted to go postal on anyone and everyone who felt compelled to recount inane anecdotes concerning about the bar or ply me with innumerable questions concerning whatever it is caused me to fail. But life does move on and things will get better with time.

Fortunately, once I started studying for the February exam I found that I was able to block out much of the embarrassment and misery associated with failing as I began to focus on how not to turn my experience into a trilogy. To be sure, studying for the bar the second time pretty much sucked, but as much as I hated the material, studying was infinitely better than wallowing in my misery.

In the midst of the agony associated with failing, it was hard not to view failing as nothing but a blown or wasted year, and in some ways, I still feel this way. I was also very worried that failing the bar would be akin a millstone hanging around my neck preventing me from progressing with my career. Fortunately, after a shitload of interviews, I feel that I can safely put this fear to rest. To be sure, I’ll never work in biglaw, but my law school grades had already taken me out of the running. Few if any employers seemed to give a shit about the fact that I’d failed. I was asked about it a few times but the questions were always easily disposed of and were usually part of the inane thread of interview questions along the lines of what did you learn from the experience etc.

I sometimes wonder how I’ll look back on the past year in the future. After re-reading some of my posts today, much of the angst expressed feels more like distant background noise than anything. Concerns about whether or not I did enough MBEs, how irritating fellow bar takers can be, the weird after affects of taking the bar and the agony of waiting for results a second time have been replaced by more mundane worries such as how will I ever pay off my private student loans and am I hitting my billables this week. Life does truly move on, time heals all wounds and all that bullshit but I doubt I’ll ever be able to wholly forget my experience with failing the bar.

Since this will almost certainly be my last post, I want to thank my fellow comrades in arms who shared their experiences going through the strange trip that was the bar by blogging, commenting and/or emailing, it was nice to know that I wasn’t the only one struggling through a particular subject area or combating the inevitable burnout during the doldrums in early February. To the few of you who stumble onto this site in the future, I hope this site gives you some encouragement that you’re not alone and that the shittiness of failing will eventually pass. The bar is a giant crap shoot and nothing more than an evil hazing ritual that has no bearing on one’s ability to practice law and/or have a successful career. I still believe that there is a special place in hell reserved for the evil minions responsible for creating the bar and for the equally malevolent assholes who bilk thousands of law grads each year by playing on the fear and anxiety that naturally flows from rolling up three years of law school into three hellacious days of meaningless essays, performance tests and multiple choice.

Anyway, enough of my ramblings, best of luck to you all.

Good Luck

2007-07-23T16:40:00.001-07:00

Best of luck to everyone starting the endurance challenge better known as the bar tomorrow!

Squirming in front of the silver screen...

2007-06-12T15:51:00.000-07:00

Watched the movie Little Children this week on Netflix. Obviously, movie reviews are largely outside the purview of this blog, but the movie included a story line, involving a character who was studying to take the bar for the third time, that hit a little too close to home. I have to say that the movie more then adequately captured the embarrassment, feelings of dislocation, and general disconnect that comes with failing the bar. It was also somewhat cringe inducing to re-live the experience through the character. The movie was otherwise okay, but it was interesting to see the topic of failing the bar sort of addressed outside the narrow confines of the legal community.

Notes from the other side

2007-06-07T12:49:00.000-07:00

[note: I’m on deadline at work so please excuse the million typos and syntax errors]

I haven’t posted since bar results due to a seemingly never-ending stream of work, personal, and a various other commitments.

It was hard to overestimate the absolute feeling of relief that came after learning that I had in fact passed. I didn’t feel joy, or elation, just absolute and utter relief. I spent the long weekend sleeping and adjusting to a life without the 800 pound gorilla that was the bar that seemingly loomed over and influenced every aspect of my life for the past year.

I want to congratulate everyone from the bar blogosphere (and everyone else) who passed, but more importantly, to those who failed express my deepest condolences. I still can’t shake the unmistakable feeling that in the game of chance that is the bar that it just as easily could have been me considering the horror of having to re-take the bar while any of you could just as easily be viewing life from the other side.

A few quick notes on what I believe I did right the second time around. I tried as honestly as possible to sit down and assess my weaknesses and then figure out what I needed to do to strengthen them. I also wholly abandoned BarBri’s methods and went back to square one.

I kept up with the paced program the first time but had the feeling that I was merely going through the motions for the sake it. I dutifully handed in my assignments, attempted to cram through whatever outline was assigned for the day, and tried to pay attention in class as much as possible. Unfortunately, this ran counter to the various methods that had successfully took me through law school and I think in the panic inducing environment that encompasses the run-up to the bar I failed to adequately sit down figure out what I really needed to work on, and what I could let slide. I’ve never been one to take much away from lectures, I wish I did, but my brain just doesn’t absorb much from them. I learn by reading, synthesizing outlines, and practice. Unfortunately, the lectures themselves are long and strangely exhausting. By the time they were over for the day, I was mentally shot and perhaps not at my best when it came to actually learning the material and the gamesmanship behind the bar.

After getting my results from the first bar, I knew that the essays were my biggest weakness (I won’t reprise my rant about BarBri’s graded essay assignments, you can read it here) and planned my study schedule accordingly. I didn’t want to drop the cash for another review course or become a professional sperm donor to pay for a tutor, so I created my own self-study schedule and tried to stick with it as best I could.

I spent almost no time learning the law, and instead religiously wrote out as many essays as possible. I cherry picked some of the tips from Adachi’s Bar Breakers series (if anyone lives in San Francisco and wants to buy mine, drop me an email), but for the most part I practiced using IRAC with as many headers as possible until it became close to second nature. As the exam drew closer I stopped writing full essays and tested myself by outlining the issue and writing out the rules for the issues I spotted before checking to see if I had hit them. I don’t think I knew the law as well the second time, but I did feel much better about the essays going in.

I did next to next to nothing for the MBEs, and perhaps averaged 20-25 per day. I did well enough the first time (139) to make a calculated risk to focus on essays and hope that my MBE score would more or less hold through.

The PTs worried me in that I bombed one and aced the other. I ended up taking John Holtz’s PT workshop and give it a qualified recommendation. I felt his system was unworkable, but believe that the true value of the workshop lay in the shear number of PTs that he forced us to go through. I came out of the workshop feeling that I had a much better understanding of what the examiners actually look for when grading the exam. I found Honigsberg’s approach to be useless and thus would recommend Holtz if you are concerned about the PT.

In the end I don’t think there is a magic bullet when it comes to studying for the bar. There isn’t a secret method, obscure book, or magic tutor that will get one through. Although BarBri works for many, it didn’t work for me. I think, for me at least, going back to basics and figuring out how I learn best and then building a schedule to accommodate my strengths and weaknesses was the key in getting me through the bar the second time.

I don’t know how failing the bar will influence my career moving forward, or how I will look back on the past year down the road. But what I do know is that failing the bar was emotionally devastating, a financial disaster, and a total waste of a year.

Thank god

2007-05-25T18:03:00.001-07:00

Drip, drip, drip

2007-05-25T16:49:00.000-07:00

Took off work and have been pre-gaming (i.e., drinking) for a while. Have spent more time staring at my laptop then I'd care to imagine. Could definitely do without this wait.

Agony

2007-05-25T12:52:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to believe that even a bad result would be better then the agony of watching this day inch ever so slowly towards 6pm...

What else can I say...

2007-05-25T10:22:00.000-07:00

So it looks like the train wreck that has been my 3+ year journey from law school neophyte to wizened bar exam failee may or may not come to a close tonight. Either way, this has been one strange ride.

Although I may post later this afternoon, I just want to take this opportunity to thank my fellow bloggers for sharing their experiences moving through this mess. The total lack of information out there for those who find themselves having to repeat the bar is stunning. Until blogs, there was nothing that cataloged with any degree of depth just how isolating and emotionally devastating failing the bar can be. To be able to read how other people were dealing with this never failed to help keep things in perspective. Finally, a big thank you is in order to the readers who managed to stumble onto this blog and for everyone who took the time to write comments and emails over the last couple of months.

At this point all I can say is that I’m wishing everyone in the California bar exam blogosphere - readers and bloggers alike - nothing but the best of luck tonight!

Hoping for the best, preparing for the worst

2007-05-24T16:10:00.000-07:00

Studied Ignorance posted earlier on the issue of checking results alone or with others. Personally, I’m going to go with a plan similar to hers, with a few minor variations.

For the first time in months, I re-read my posts written immediately after failing and was instantly reminded of just how miserable that evening was. Although I did prepare for potentially bad news by getting fall down drunk, this did little other then somewhat mute the general shittiness of the evening. But as bad as the evening was, I think it would have been much worse had I elected to check results with a group.

I have a friend who got together with his study group to have drinks and check results together. Unfortunately for both him and the group, he was the one present who failed. Needless to say, it turned out to be a pretty shitty evening for him even though the group did everything they could to console him, and keep their celebrations to a minimum.

Tonight, I’m going to pack my survival kit for tomorrow, largely consisting of hotel size bottles of scotch, a pack of smokes, a bottle of Tylenol, and an energy bar. I’m guessing that my tolerance for the real world (i.e., work) will be exhausted by lunchtime, at which point I’m going to develop a sudden case of stomach flue, and then proceed to the nearest outdoor bar where I’ll pretend to read a book, chain smoke, and hope that the afternoon passes somewhat quickly.

I've been dreading the momentary pause that comes after hitting the submit button but before the the results page appears for far longer then I'd care to think about. Whether I pass or fail, I'll call my parents, and then send a text message to the few people I know who also took the exam. Either way, I'm guessing that I'll have the mother of all hangovers on Saturday.

Wearing thin

2007-05-23T16:04:00.000-07:00

A commenter from the last post pointed to two of the more irritating questions that I’m sure we have all been getting as Friday rapidily approaches:

Damn straight about it being a crapshoot. That's my standard response for all the a-holes who ask "How do you think it went? Did you feel better than last time?" (I love a lot of these people but am ready to take swings at them when they ask me those questions.)

To what should be a running list of banned questions and/or comments I’d add “are you nervous,” and that class of anecdotes invariably involving someone’s uncle who had a cousin who had a friend who failed three plus times only to end up making millions as a dog bite attorney, or some shit like that. I’m also growing tired hearing the endless tidbits of trivia involving the former dean of Stanford, JFK, Hillary Clinton, Antonio Villaraigosa, or any other public figure who previously failed the bar.

I realize that it must be extraordinarily hard to relate to a relative, close friend, or whomever concerning something as arcane and obtuse as failing the bar. I always try to give the most noncommittal answers possible when placed in a corner and forced to talk about the bar. I know that 99% of the questions, comments, and unsolicited advice are probably made with the best of intentions, but whatever level of patience I once had for these naïve, albeit, well meaning questions is wearing awfully thin at this stage of the game.

Tension

2007-05-22T11:45:00.000-07:00

I feel neither worried nor excited, just tense. Someone once said that tension is anticipation and uncertainty, I think this sums it up perfectly. Too much water has passed under the proverbial bridge for me to feel any other way. I can’t be excited, because according to the game of chance, you can't be certain that you passed, and indeed would be foolhardy to claim, much less believe, that you had in fact done so.

I do feel a glimmer of optimism that the stars might align this time around and grease my entry into official attorneydom. I did feel better prepared both in terms of mastery of the content, but more importantly, that I had a better understanding of the exam behind the exam, or what the examiners actually look for. I came out of this last examine feeling that I wouldn’t be surprised to find that I eventually had passed.

On the other hand, I wouldn’t be surprised if I failed. I feel like I sort of sleepwalked through the first morning. I feel like I hit all the major areas, but am unsure to what degree I might have merely shuffled through them. I found the MBEs more difficult in relation to last year’s exam, but chalk this up to aftermath of the PMBR infringement lawsuit that likely forced the NCBE to re-write their questions. I felt that the third day was my best by far. By sheer dumb luck, I had spent a bit of time the night before going over the subject areas tested in July just to cover my ass in case they re-tested anything. I guess I got lucky, but I’m not sure that this was enough to make up for two decidedly lackluster evidence and corporations essays.

As far as I’m concerned, the PTs could go either way. I didn’t exactly feel like time was on my side during both afternoon sessions and thus have no idea how I did, or how well I might have hit whatever issues they were looking for.

My biggest fear concern the fact that my computer fucked up several times during the exam. Although they reassured me repeatedly that my exam wouldn’t be composed of a ream of unspoiled blank pages, I have about as much faith in the exam software support and bar exam personnel as I would in trying to watch Bush try to manage his way out of a paper bag.

So, I feel that weird nervous energy that can only come from waiting for the end result of what, in my mind at least, seemingly amounts to a giant crapshoot.

The waiting game

2007-05-16T15:14:00.000-07:00

My second countdown towards results has been nerve wracking as hell. Sometimes the days pass quickly, on others I feel like I’m waiting to learn if the State Bar of California has decided to grant my clemency application or whether they’ll use me to blow through a few fuses with Old Sparky.

Obviously things could be much worse - I’ll spare you the Honigsberg-style lecture on how we could all be born in a malaria infested, war-torn country without arms or legs and forced to walk uphill both ways... Nevertheless, its been hard to cut through the waves of panic and dread to think of anything but the 25^th of May. I’m sick of the waiting game, sick of the bar dominating virtually every facet of my life, and ready to move on and away from this shit once and for all.

What Legis said...

2007-05-15T15:46:00.000-07:00

Legis recently responded to my questions below concerning job prospects after multiple attempts. If you haven't read the post, much her blog, I highly recommend doing so. Its a welcome addition to the otherwise total lack of information concerning how failing may, or may not, affect individuals in our positions moving forward.

Student loans run amok

2007-05-09T15:07:00.000-07:00

Don’t know if any of you caught this, but yesterday the New York Times wrote an article about private student loans and culinary schools. These passages jumped out at me:

[W]ould-be top chefs face a challenge that most lawyers, engineers or nurses do not: few jobs in their chosen field pay enough for them to retire their student loans. As a result, as many as 11 percent of graduates at some culinary schools are defaulting on federal student loans. The national average for all students last year was roughly half that, at 5.1 percent.

* * *

Many of the schools offer two-year programs where the total tuition and supply costs can reach $48,000. Only a slice of that is covered by low-interest federal loans. For example, the most that students in two-year programs can currently borrow in federal loans is $14,125.

So many of them seek money from banks that are usually recommended by the school. The terms on some of these private loans can quickly get a young person with little borrowing experience into financial trouble.

Mr. Park said that when he and his mother met with a financial-aid counselor at the school, they were told that his payments on his private loan, from Sallie Mae, would be about $250 a month. But his first bill after graduation was for more than twice that, said his mother, Elise McClain, an English professor in Florida. They twice requested payment deferments while he looked for a job but when they began repaying the loan, both his principal and his monthly payment had risen again. The balance is now $46,198.88 at just over 16 percent interest.

The private student loan industry is practically begging for regulation. The fact that some of them are charging 16% interest on tuition towards a career that pays so little is totally insane. I’m all for making money, but certainly not on the backs of students at 10-16% interest...

A few things I've been wondering about

2007-05-07T17:09:00.000-07:00

During the past year, I’ve spent a lot of time wondering how failing the bar might affect my future career and/or job prospects moving forward. I don’t know if it fades in importance after a couple of years or will always loom somewhere in the background.

I’ve also been giving a lot of thought to what might happen if I fail this time, but ultimately pass on the third try. I have a hard time imagining that a firm would give me the time of day, much less hire me, if it took me three times to pass, and thus I question whether taking the bar a 3^rd time would be tantamount to throwing good money after bad. I wonder how the average hiring partner/office manager responds when confronted with two equally qualified individuals but where it is obvious from the face on one of the resumes that one of the applicants has failed the bar one or two times. If passing after the 3^rd attempt would basically kill any chance of a decent job, then I don’t really see the point of putting myself in the position to compete for the triple crown.

It’s really shocking how little information there is concerning what happens to individuals such as ourselves one, two or three years after failing. I tried calling law career services at my school to ask them some of these questions, and was blown away by their total inability to answer any basic questions. It was pretty clear that they’ve never really thought about any of this, or if they had, couldn’t give a shit about it.

I’m really curious if anyone out there has any comments, ideas, or anecdotes. I know many might ask why I’m bothering with these questions before learning whether I passed or not. This is a fair question. I think right now the only thing that is keeping me moderately sane is trying to address these questions before they become actual issues.

The hell of it all...

2007-05-07T13:26:00.000-07:00

I have no idea how I’m going to react if I fail. On the other hand, I have no idea how I’ll react if I pass. I doubt I’ll be overblown with joy, more like exhausted relief. If lady luck doesn’t shine my way, I'd like to think that I be able to follow Legis's extremely healthy attitude after recently learning that she didn’t pass. I've excerpted a portion of his recent post.

Unfortunately, it’s happened again. No pass. Today I wasted absolutely no time. About 20 minutes after the results came online, I checked my results then immediately reapplied online, ran to the bank to notarize my application slip, ran to the post office to mail it priority mail, ran to the computer store to get my secret weapon, and ran back to work. All in under one hour.

I know that I felt more confident going into the last exam than I had in previous times because I now know the drill and I felt the time was coming close. But I hadn't really done the work to prepare. Now I've got my steady nerves and a resolve to really do the work.
***
No more days off for this thing. I'm taking three days to take the exam - that's it. I'm going to save my vacation time for a real vacation this year. Because by then I will have earned it. I can finally be proud of myself. And I can move on to perhaps a new career.

But first I have to get this summer overwith.

I don't know if I'll be able to share Legis's grit and determination on this one. In fact, I'm pretty sure I won't. At any rate, I guess I'll find out how soon enough how I'll end up handling whatever news is waiting for me on the other side of the Cal Bar website.

A wasted year?

2007-05-04T16:28:00.000-07:00

I think the scariest/worst aspect of failing the bar is the sheer amount of time that is wasted as a result. At about this time last year I was skating through a bunch of bullshit classes that I knew even less about then, than I do know. I was getting ready to graduate, to enjoy my two days of vacation between the end of law school and the start of PMRB, and was generally trying not to think too hard about the eternal boredom and monotony that I knew would be my 6 week journey through BarBri.

I have to say that it feels like some sort of sick joke that I’m less than 10 days away from my 1 year PMBR anniversary, and that I will have blown an entire year of my life alternatively studying, waiting, obsessing, dreaming, and thinking about the bar before I actually find out whether I passed this time around. With the exception of infancy, I don’t think I’ve ever accomplished less over the course of a year in my life. I’d love to be able to say on some sort of meta level that I’ve learned a lot about myself during the past year or some bullshit like that, but the reality of it is that the only things that have changed is the calendar, my bank account, and probably a bunch of other things that are too depressing to think about. Maybe in 10 years I’ll look back on this whole experience and be able to laugh, or extract some pearl of wisdom from this whole ordeal, but from my current perch I fail to see how this can be seen as anything other than a blown year.

This entire experience has been one never-ending string of humiliation, gut-checks, and frustration. One very astute commenter wrote, "[t]his hell is not something I would ever wish on anyone, even my worst enemy. Wait, lately that seems to be me." I really couldn't agree more.

Attack of the phantom fees

2007-05-03T14:08:00.000-07:00

I recently began the painful process of paying down my private loans. Needless to say, it has been a thoroughly frustrating experience. Like most lenders, my lender doesn’t actually service my loan so I have to deal with this company based somewhere in middle earth (i.e, the Mid West) that makes it virtually impossible to get a living breathing person on the phone. When I do manage to actually talk to someone, the person clearly has no idea about anything remotely related to loans.

The other day I got my statement and was horrified to see that my principle was actually increasing. I pay enough each month so that I should expect to see my principle decrease each month. After three frustrating phone calls, and three incredibly obtuse and nonsensical answers to my questions about why my principle keeps going up, I finally got a hold of someone who, in all likelihood, will probably be fired for making the mistake of telling me that the loan service company had added a “one time service fee” of over 700 dollars. I specifically remember choosing my private loan provider based on the fact that they charged zero fees for servicing the loan. Naturally, the hapless customer service rep was completely unable to point to a single provision in my loan documents that gave them the right to charge any fees much less 700 freaking dollars. Its bad enough that the interest rate on my loan is starting to look more and more like a credit card, but to tack on an additional 700 bucks from which even more interest is going to accrue is fucking killing me. I’m also pissed at how many conversations I had to have with assorted loan flunkies before someone managed to get around to telling me about the presence of this mystery fee. I can’t imagine an industry, especially in light of the massive student loan kickback scandals, more deserving of serious regulation and oversight.

T-Minus 23 days and counting...

2007-05-02T10:39:00.000-07:00

I guess we're finally on the home stretch for bar results. I don't know about everyone else, but bar results are about all I can think about at the moment. I haven't quite found the right non-law job I was hoping to find, thus the issue of whether or not I pass is becoming more important. I'm also starting to have rather vivid nightmares about the bar exam itself, as well as pretty nasty flashbacks back to that horrific evening last November when I found out that I didn't pass the first time. I'm really dreading checking to see if I'm on the pass list on the 25th, and can only imagine how slowly the next 3 weeks and change will drag along.

Like a bad song...

2007-04-19T16:23:00.000-07:00

I have very mixed feelings about the fact that there are 36 days until results come out. I think it's still too far away to care all that much about, on the other hand, I'm starting to get sick of the occasional flashes of dread whenever something bar related pops into my head. It's been kind of like getting a bad song stuck in my head, it eventually goes away but its definitely something I can do with out.

What if...

2007-04-11T16:44:00.000-07:00

Reader Curious asked a good question in the comments section, one that I’ve given considerable thought to:

Have you thought about what you will do if you obtain a non-legal job in these next couple of months and then find that you have indeed passed the bar? Will you still leave your current position?
I'm in a similar position, and I'm debating how to move forward. Although I dislike the practice of law, I would feel bad choosing to leave my firm after having been supported by them during my re-taking of the bar.

First, I can only say that it depends on the type of non-law job I manage to find. I’m fairly deep in the interview process for a couple of non-law jobs (don’t want to jinx anything by naming the industries I’ve been targeting at the moment – am willing to go into more specifics via email). If all goes according to plan the issue of whether or not I pass or fail will be immaterial. I’m targeting industries where my legal education is of some value, but by not essential.

I don’t necessarily share Curious’ entirely warranted concern about feeling bad about leaving a firm after being supported by them during bar largely because the only support my firm gave me during my second attempt was to provide assurances that they would hold open my crappy clerkship and hire me as an associate should I pass this time around. Had they paid for my time off or for a bar review course, I might feel a little more loyalty, but in the dog-eat-dog world that is life I really have to keep my interests at the forefront and not worry too much about whether or not I’m going to burn any bridges on my way to getting the fuck out of law.

Finally, as a practical matter even if I wanted to go back into law right away after hypothetically making the jump and then finding out in May that I did in fact pass the bar I don’t think I’d be able to do anything about it given the absolutely horrendously over-saturated entry level legal market here in the bay area. Although I have a ton of legal experience I have no illusions what will happen if I ditch my current firm. I know, aside from issues related to the dearth of jobs, that I would have considerable difficulty finding another law job on account of failing the bar and exposing myself to questions about why I left my current firm after working there for nearly two years. However, I really feel that if I leave my fate to chance and wait to see whether or not I passed, I may very well find myself in a situation where I will be left scrambling to find a new job without a license. I guess I would rather run the risk of jumping out of the law then risk failing and essentially having to leave the law anyway.

In the end, I guess that if I pass after finding a non-law job I know I'll feel really good about passing, but doubt that I'll want to jump back into the law as a result. I've really come to the conclusion that I find the law tedious and boring and would probably rather do just about anything else then devote the rest of my life to the eternal joys that are discovery requests and cataloging the procedural requirements for quieting title to an outhouse, or some shit like that.

Back from the abyss (sort of)

2007-04-11T15:28:00.000-07:00

Haven't posted for a while due to a combination of work, the ongoing job search, and various other time constraints. It finally seems that my schedule is about to clear up somewhat and I'll be able to resume my semi-regular posting schedule.

Happy one month anniversary (give or take)

2007-03-30T16:51:00.000-07:00

Shit, so I guess a month ago today we were trying to come to terms with what was, by all accounts, a particularly nasty and brutal rendition of the bar exam. My concept of time is incredibly warped at the moment. On one hand it feels like it was a year ago, but it also feels like I just finished typing the last PT yesterday. Blonde Blogger recently pointed out that our friends over at the California Bar just released the questions from the exam. I have absolutely no interest in looking at them. I know that if I do, the few remaining hairs left on my head will immediately fall during the course of what would doubtlessly be a monumental panic attack.

I've really tried to push anything and everything bar related out of my mind, sometimes I think about it and experience a brief panic attack, but I've been surprised at how successful I've been at not thinking about that horror that was the bar. I know that as May 25 draws closer that its going to gradually become the only thing I think about. In some ways I'm glad it still aways off, at least I can try to pretend that perhaps the most important day of my perhaps brief legal career is still too far down the road to really care about. Anyway, just want to wish everyone a happy one month anniversary.

Weird

2007-03-22T13:48:00.000-07:00

Bored at work today, so I decided to check out some of my old haunts during the bar including Travis Wise's group on Yahoo dedicated to the CA Bar. Kind of crazy, and more than a little weird, to read threads about making study schedules now for the July bar. God help them all.

What next?

2007-03-20T13:06:00.000-07:00

Bif, in the comments for the preceding post, asked me what I am planning to do if I pass or fail the bar. This is a question that I have been giving a lot of thought to during the last couple of weeks and one that I will address over the next couple of weeks.

I’ve addressed touched upon here and there, but never hit head on. To make a long story short, I’m about 99% sure that I’m going to ditch the law and pursue a career in another field. This issue is highly complicated for me and is something that I will attempt to unravel over the next couple of weeks in this blog. It would be a lie to say that failing the bar had no impact on this decision, as it most certainly has. It’s too early to say whether or not I am viewing everything through the prism of bar failure and in the context of the long hard slog that is waiting for my results at the end of May.

I am beginning to think that maybe failing the bar might be the best thing that could have happened to me. Had I passed the bar, I would be more or less stuck in a career trajectory that increasingly holds little interest to me. Even before failing, I had pretty much grown to detest the law with the type of passion usually reserved for lima beans and a certain Texan currently occupying a big white house. I robotically marched into law school armed with a certainty bred sometime in middle school that I wanted to be an attorney. Now, I’ve been able to research and look for jobs that I might actually enjoy and may end up paying more than law.

Anyway, to answer Bif’s question, I am taking the next couple of months before results come out to aggressively look for a non-law job. If I find something I like then I’m going to run with it and forget about law. If I find something, discover I don’t like it, but pass the bar then I can use law as a back up. If I don’t find something outside of law and pass the bar, then once results come out I’ll throw myself wholeheartedly back into the law track. I think what I’m really trying to say (massive hangover seems to be killing any clarity at the moment) is that I don’t want to be caught with my pants down. There is no way I will write the bar a third time, so if I don’t pass I want to be sure that I have something lined up ahead of time so that I'm not left scrambling when results come out.

Riding the waves of panic

2007-03-14T15:20:00.000-07:00

I'm amazed that it took this long to happen, but I finally had my first encounter with panic vis-a-vis my performance on the bar. It came out of the blue this morning, and it took me a couple of moments to regain my composure. I don't know if I want May 25 to hurry up and arrive or if I want it to stretch on forever so that I don't have to deal with what might happen if I don't pass. Either way, it looks like the next couple of months are going to be a fairly miserable.

The curse of the JD

2007-03-13T13:14:00.000-07:00

Going into law school, I bought into the conventional wisdom that you can pretty much take a JD anywhere outside of the law. Now, nearly a week into my non-law job search, I can honestly say that having a law degree is a very mixed bag, and in many ways more of a curse than a blessing.
The short version is that I've been warned repeatedly that although many employers will look favorably at my JD, most will be wary of hiring me (or any other newly minted JD) as I am both over and under qualified for pretty much every non-law job out there.

I'm under qualified because I've spent the last three years in law school and thus do not have the only thing that seems to count at this stage in the game, actual experience. This puts me at an obvious disadvantage as most of my peers, who did not go to grad school, have 3+ years of actual work experience. Although I have considerable experience working in a variety of legal and political/public policy settings, I do not have any experience working in the business world, and am thus at a serious competitive disadvantage.

I'm also over qualified because I have an advanced degree, so that many employers will typecast me as either an arrogant blowhard/know-it-all or as someone who is looking for the type of compensation that reflects my JD but not my actual experience. Thus, many employers may view me as potentially being an expensive headache before bothering to conduct an interview.

In light of this problem, I think there is really only one approach I can take. I'm only going to apply for entry-level jobs and then stress my willingness/desire to start at the bottom and work my way up. I don't mind doing this as long as I believe that a given job has the potential for rapid advancement and compensation. Hopefully this approach will work.

Bar Recap

2007-03-13T10:39:00.000-07:00

This has been kicking around the Internet for a little bit, but in case you haven't seen it, here is an excellent recap of the February Bar. Biff at Becoming a Lawyer had the original post.

A braver sould than I

2007-03-09T16:03:00.000-08:00

Una donna fantastica just posted her exam postmortem. I've gone back and forth on whether to do the same, I haven't thought too much about how I did or didn't do on the bar or what issues I think I missed, but this is probably the result of sheer avoidance on my part and ongoing feelings of disconnect between myself, the bar, and the real world. I guess at some point I'll most likely follow her lead and post on the pitfalls I think I fell into, but for the time being I'll tip my had to those who have had the courage to face the bar head on.

What???

2007-03-09T15:27:00.000-08:00

This has got to be a joke (or the product of an enterprising hacker), but when I tried to go on JDJive this afternoon, I got the following message.

JDjive.com Domain Name is for sale.
Ebay

Apparently, the starting bid is 25K...

The (non-law job) hunt begins

2007-03-08T15:39:00.000-08:00

Starting to take stock of what exactly I can do with my law degree besides actually practice law (regardless of whether or not the miracle occurs on the 25th of May). During my second year I used my Westlaw points to buy a book on jobs for lawyers who don't want to practice law anymore (the exact title of the book escapes me, something along the lines of "fleeing from the law." I discovered that the book was filled with nothing but platitudes and self evident advice such as: make a flowchart diagramming your interests, determination is the key to success, and follow your dreams. After 20 minutes or so, I decided that the book utterly worthless and then put it to better use as a means to maintain the structural integrity of my bed frame.

Nevertheless, I went to the library today and found a copy of a different book entitled, "What Can You Do with a Law Degree." After another 20 minutes of skimming this book I came away even less impressed then the first book. Basically it seems that I'm pretty much confined to the following jobs outside of law: school teacher, some sort of government job, and consulting.

Although I'm sure that I would love being a school teacher (I really miss summer vacation) and might even find it rewarding, I know that there is no way that I could pay down my student debt with the pittance that teachers make. Also I have no desire to go back to school, so this is clearly not a viable option. Working for the state government is also not an option as I know there isn't enough money in the world to make me move to Sacramento so that I can bake to death while pushing papers up and down the bureaucracy. I had previously given some thought to moving to DC to work in government, but am not particularly anxious to leave the Bay Area. Again, student loans are a huge hindrance in pursuing any noble ambition to pursue a career in the public sector. So I guess that leaves consulting as the only viable choice from the book. Don't have a particularly solid understanding as to what exactly consulting entails, but I do know that there are hundreds of consulting firms in in my area, so maybe I'll investigate this angle further.

And you thought we had it bad here in California...

2007-03-08T15:36:00.000-08:00

Studied Ignorance has a great post on the "horror" that is the North Carolina Bar Exam.

Privacy and "the Google"

2007-03-08T10:13:00.000-08:00

This story was kicking around JDjive yesterday, but I finally got around to reading the actual story today. To make a long story short, a female Yale grad was badly smeared on an anonymous law message board, which she believes resulted in her getting a total of zero offers after 16 interviews. More info on the story can be found here. Heated discussions on the issue can be found in the comment sections here and here.

Aside from the legal issues concerning defamation and internet chat rooms/boards, I think the issue lurking behind the scenes of this story (i.e., how the lack of privacy on the internet may directly affect one's job prospects) is extremely important, and is only going to grow more so as employers increasingly begin to troll face book, myspace, the google (to borrow a Bushism), and the blogosphere before making hiring decisions.

Junky Limbo

2007-03-06T12:08:00.000-08:00

Other bloggers have alluded to it (here, and here) but, now that more than a few days have elapsed after finishing the bar, I'm struck about how numb I still feel. I feel like I'm sleepwalking through most of my days. I'm really tired, want to sleep all the time, and feel like I'm coming down with, or off from, something. I'm also having a really hard time relaxing and am not sure what the hell to do for fun. I was really looking forward to reading, going to the movies, and generally catching up on all the things I've missed while living, breathing, and dreaming about the bar. But, now that it's over, none of these things have seemed particularly appealing. Its been nice to go out and get wasted without feeling guilty, but thats about it. To use an imperfect metaphor from Trainspotting, I feel like I'm in junky limbo ("too ill to sleep, too tired to stay awake..."). Obviously I'm not craving to redo the bar, but I do feel stuck in limbo between the high wire act that was the run-up to the bar and the aftermath of what was an extremely stressful and time consuming event.

I guess these feelings are inevitable after having devoted every waking moment to the bar for nearly two months, still I don't remember feeling this worn out and dazed after the first bar. Ive been surprised at how little I've been mulling over the individual questions or stressing about whether or not I think I hit the right issues, nevertheless I can still feel the bar lingering in the background more or less affecting everything else I do. It's weird to feel letdown after living through such a shitty experience for the second time. I know that this will dissipate over time, but I'm very much looking forward to the near future where the bar, either directly or indirectly, doesn't dominate everything I do or feel.

Time flies when your're having fun...

2007-03-06T12:06:00.000-08:00

Can't believe that one week ago today I was sweating through the corporations essay trying to make up a plausible sounding rule for share holder agreements.

From the department of stupid questions...

2007-03-05T10:08:00.000-08:00

Currently, my least favorite question is, "so, do you think you passed?" I think this is a stupid question, and infinitely more rude than its slightly less irritating cousin, "how do you think you did?" At least the latter allows for more wiggle room and the opportunity to give noncommittal answers such as "who knows," and "I guess I'll find out in May." Although I provide similar non-answers to the first question, it still pisses me off. I doubt these questions will irritate me as much in a couple of weeks. My frustration probably has more to do with the fact that the asshats who are currently bugging me to predict whether or not I passed, are the same idiots who insisted on asking all sorts of irritating questions when I found out that I had failed last November.

Time warp

2007-03-05T09:54:00.000-08:00

At about this time last week I was stressing about what to pack, stressing about whether or not I had studied enough, and generally as stressed as I've ever been. Now, one week later, that all seems like a somewhat distant nightmare.

My concept of time is completely fucked right now, I feel like I'm still walking around in a daze. I'm glad to be done, but have no idea what I should be doing with myself. I sleep constantly during the day, but can't seem to sleep in past 6:30. I ended up going in to work this morning after not knowing what else to do. Now that I'm sitting at my desk, I'm regretting this decision, but figure I'll stick around long enough to restart the clock from my 6 week leave of absence so that I'll get paid soon, and then leave early.

Time to get drunk!!

2007-03-02T17:56:00.000-08:00

Congratulations to everyone out there who just finished the bar!!! Hope you all have a relaxing while managing to forget about the last three days. Time to go get drunk and put this last week behind me.

The future of this blog

2007-03-02T17:44:00.000-08:00

Now that I can't blog about taking the bar, I'm planning to write about what happens next. I haven't run across too many resources that detail what happens to people after they write the bar a second time, and I'm hoping that many of the other bloggers out there who've all been doing a fantastic job of detailing the run up to this last bar continue to blog in the future. I'm not sure what's going to happen next, and I don't know how failing will affect my future job prospects, but I certainly plan on blogging about what does happen as I move forward.

Enter the real world

2007-03-02T17:39:00.000-08:00

Now that the bar is done, its time for me to start facing a variety of issues that I've been able to put off until now. I have a job, but barely. My firm has been going through a significant period of instability, and so I'm not sure what I'll be walking into when I go back to work sometime next week.

Also, I've been giving a lot of thought to abandoning law as a career. On one hand I'd say that any feelings about wanting to drop the law are currently influenced by the misery that was the bar. But it is something that I've been giving a tremendous amount of thought to over the last 6 months. I'll post more on this later, but the short version is that in light of the instability at my firm, and the fact that I can't say for sure whether or not I passed this time, I want to make sure that I'm not caught with my pants down in May when the results come out.

If either my firm collapses, or I don't pass, I'll need to find a new job ASAP. I need to start paying down my loans, plus I don't think I want to practice law bad enough to go through another bar, with new subjects, and go further into debt during the process. More importantly, I've really started to despise the law. I never got into it during law school, and although I like the actual practice of law, I don't think I'm driven by an overwhelming passion to pursue this career choice at all costs.

Accountability

2007-03-02T16:35:00.000-08:00

I was going to compare Sakai's predictions to what was actually on the test. But decided that this was a stupid idea since they tested the all but three subjects (give or take) and so anyone could say that they predicted the test with some degree of accuracy. So I decided to only look at his "less likely" category.

Less Likely
Contracts (really the only one he was right about)
Torts (he may have predicted a nuisance issue, not sure though)
Corporations (whoops, guess he didn't see the SH agreement question coming either?)
Wills and Trusts (at least he was right about trusts)

I don't think there is a more dubious business than predicting exam test subjects.

Day after part II

2007-03-02T12:39:00.000-08:00

Not sure how I feel about the exam. I felt pretty good about the last one, but those feelings were obviously unreliable. This exam was significantly more complicated, more or less managed to test the majority of subjects, and definitively demonstrated the Bar Examiners willingness to play mind games and fuck with us.

The prevailing wisdom going into the exam seemed to that anything but the First Amendment was fair game for Con Law. Same for Wills. I think most people expected a full Community Property question, with maybe a minor cross-over with something else. But except for the widows election doctrine, it was pretty much a full-blown Wills question. Apparently several people somehow managed to treat the entire question as a pure CP, don't know how they managed to do that if true. Coming out of the second essay section, I heard more than a few people complain that they had over relied on Sakai's predictions and had totally fucked themselves in the process.

I still hold to my theory that we were better off with a difficult bar exam as it gives us a little more latitude to miss minor issues, but I won't be surprised to see a very low pass rate out of this one. On the other hand, the California Bar has been under increasing scrutiny for the low pass rates, so they may recognize that the exam was particularly nasty and adjust the scores accordingly.

In the end I'm cautiously optimistic, I was significantly more prepared going in to this one, and feel that I may have made up some ground on the third day, but I guess I'll have to keep my fingers crossed until May.

The day after part I

2007-03-02T09:43:00.000-08:00

Woke up early this morning and couldn't shake the feeling that I was still stuck in the middle of the bar. Couldn't get back to sleep, and have no idea what the hell to do with myself today. I think its going to take me a couple of days to unwind from this repeat experience.

Shell shock

2007-03-01T19:51:00.000-08:00

Don't feel particularly relieved or anxious, just utterly numb. Today was significantly better then Tuesday, have no idea how I did.

Are you smarter than a fifth grader?

2007-02-28T20:24:00.000-08:00

So Fox is pimping it's new show, "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader" to no end. I'll avoid obvious comments about how we are breeding a nation of idiots and admit that I watched the show last night. The production value was pretty low as the show was obviously thrown together at the last moment to fill the after-Idol time slot, but I have to say that watching it made me feel pretty good about myself while stuck in the midst of the confidence killer better known as the California Bar Exam. It was pretty funny watching the contestants flail around trying to answer questions such as, what ship did the pilgrims arrive on?

At times, failing the California bar made me feel about as dumb as a fifth grader, but watching the show served as a welcome reminder that no matter how stupid I might feel at the moment, there are still plenty of others out there who are infinitely dumber.

Fuck the MBE

2007-02-28T18:09:00.000-08:00

I thought the morning session was relatively easy, but that the afternoon session was actually really difficult. It seemed that whoever is responsible for drafting the exam basically reformulated the exam to ensure that PMBR lost whatever advantage it might once have had before losing the lawsuit. It seemed to test a level of detail not otherwise contained in Conviser, and instead focused on the more obscure and technical areas of the MBE subjects. I won't hazard a guess as to how I did, but can only hope that I did well enough to make up whatever ground I lost on the essays.

A theory of sorts

2007-02-27T19:14:00.000-08:00

Blawgin' asks a question that I've been thinking about a lot lately:

I think February is harder. It's not as straightforward. Does it make a difference that it's mostly repeaters when it comes to grading, do you think?

I don't think there's any question that today's exam was significantly more difficult than the first day last July. After failing, I couldn't shake the feeling that the July bar was probably the most strait forward exam I would ever see. The cross-overs were virtually non-existent, and the fact patterns weren't as bad as they could have been. I think today's exam confirmed this impression. It was not strait forward (except for crim law - unless I'm missing something) and if today is any indication, I would imagine that we haven't seen the last of the cross-over's.

I think that in some ways a more difficult exam is to our advantage. Yeah, it sucked pretty bad, but judging from the chatter around me, I don't think anyone felt particularly good about any of it. In contrast, last summer the general consensus seemed to be more of relief than a general sense of horror. I didn't feel particularly good coming out of the summer exam, but many people did. In the end I think that the more difficult the exam, the greater margin of error there is for us. If you couldn't remember the rules for shareholder agreements, keep in mind that most people couldn't either, whereas everyone more or less had negligence down so missing a minor issue in July could have been fatal. In other words, a more difficult exam gives us more latitude relative to our fellow test takers.

Anyway, I have no idea if this is actually true, just a couple of thoughts, I'm pretty beat so pardon the typos and run on sentences.

While we were typing...

2007-02-27T19:08:00.000-08:00

The markets took a massive hit today, looks like the economy (and the job market) will probably follow.

Also, apparently Hollywood Madam Jody "Baby Doll" Gibson's little black book was just unsealed, much to the chagrin of a few notable celebrities.

Word

2007-02-27T19:00:00.000-08:00

While buying a pack of smokes overheard someone ask another bar examinee if he raised the contingency fee issue in the second question. I know its mean, but hearing stuff like this makes me feel a little better.

Overheard today at the bar...

2007-02-27T18:52:00.000-08:00

Heard two people behind me vehemently arguing about how many times Sakai failed the bar...I had no idea that he might have failed the bar once, much less several times. I don't think that failing the bar should be seen as rendering someone unfit to give advice or teach bar review courses. In fact I think in some ways its preferable. Those who pass the bar have no idea why they did, other than perhaps some vague impression that certain sections went better than others. On the other hand, after getting tests and scores back, those of us who fail have a pretty good idea how and where we went wrong. Anyway, more curious as a point of trivia then anything else.

Did anyone else find question two appalling???

2007-02-27T18:33:00.000-08:00

That question really sucked, I also could have used an additional hour for question one. But question three was a welcome relief after the first two. The PT was okay, I probably over did it on the facts, but then again, it could have been much worse. Also could have done without the lights turning off halfway through the PT exam this afternoon. For the amount of money we pay to take this fucker, you think the least they could do is not fuck shit up.

Damn link list

2007-02-26T17:54:00.000-08:00

Somehow, blogger just made my links disappear. I was able to rescue some of them, but I'm missing many of them. If I previously had you in my link list, please don't take it as some sort of editorial on your blog if you were there and aren't anymore. Hopefully, I'll be able to recover this after the bar is over.

To post, or not to post?

2007-02-26T17:41:00.001-08:00

Fuck it, I'm going to post during the bar...figure I'm going to be way too wound up to actually look at my outlines, so I'll post instead. However, there is one thing that I absolutely will not do: I will not discuss the nitty-gritty details of questions (i.e., did you see that nimble dividend issue?). I really hate these kinds of discussions as they just make me anxious and want to chain smoke 42 million cigs. I recommend checking out JDJive.com if you are looking for the more intimate details of the individual questions.

Nevertheless, I will post any general observations that I might have such as, "question three fucking killed me," etc. Anyway, off to dinner, and hopefully some sleep.

A few suggestions

2007-02-26T09:46:00.000-08:00

Just a few quick suggestions/tips for anyone who is taking the bar for the first time.

Use earplugs: For me these are essential to block out the random noises during the bar (countdown timers going off, chairs shuffling, etc), but, more importantly, to avoid having to listen to the brazen idiots who insist on talking about how they memorized the entire probate code and how they managed to study 20 hours a day. These assholes will also insist on broadcasting to the world how they managed to find and discuss all sorts of random and highly obtuse issues in the essays. Earplugs won’t totally block these people out, but they certainly help. Kmack has another good reason to use earplugs.
Time: expect that no portion of the exam will start on-time. More importantly, expect to have very little time between the morning exam and the start of the afternoon exam for lunch. The proctors work at a snails pace and in doing so pretty much ruin any chance of getting the full lunch break.
Lunch: Bring one. I ran out of balance bars/cliff bars on the third day, I had to wait in a ridiculously long line to get a sandwich that only made me extremely tired for the afternoon exam. I don’t get hungry when I’m stressed, but I forced myself to eat a couple of balance bars which gave me just enough energy to get through the afternoon without making me tired. Also, if your taking the test in Oakland plan for the fact that there isn’t a lot of quick food options that won’t be swamped with test takers and the business crowd, so plan accordingly.
Smoking: If you are a smoker and you know that you desperately crave cigarettes when stressed, go buy the patch or the nicotine lozenges for the exam. They really take the edge off, and I also find that they help maintain my general level of alertness. If you haven’t used either, test them out today, some people can’t stand the lozenges, so make sure you can tolerate them. If you get the patch, take it off a good hour before you go to sleep, as it gives many people extremely vivid nightmares/dreams.
Stress: I know I’m supposed to say don’t stress etc. But expect it, we've all invested too much time in this not to. However, if you find yourself stressing during the exam or blanking out, just type anything. One of the model answers online, I forget which one, contains a verbatim recitation of the fact pattern from the exam. It’s pretty clear that the test taker most likely freaked out and just wrote out the facts before moving on to analyzing the exam. I know many people disagree, and argue that you need to be as succinct as possible, and while brevity is of course preferable to barfing on the page, not writing is really the only method guaranteed to fail. The one thing that really surprised me when writing the essays was how many obscure rules and exceptions I found naturally coming to me when reading the fact patterns. Everyone feels that they don’t know anything, but I think you’ll be surprised to find out just how much you know.

Anyway, just my two cents worth, best of luck to everyone!

P.S. N at Clearing the Bar (Exam) has some excellent suggestions as well.

What the hell am I going to do with myself today?

2007-02-26T07:55:00.000-08:00

Study, I guess. I'm pretty wound up today, like back when I could sort of credibly call myself an athlete and was full of nervous energy before game time. Not sure if I can study, but what the fuck else is there to do? I've already packed, and will be driving to Oakland later this afternoon. I guess I'll read the Caveats section in the Blue PMBR book (note: if you have the book, I highly recommend looking at it, it basically breaks down all the stupid little areas of law likely to make hapless law grads like myself confused on exam day). Hopefully, this day will pass somewhat quickly.

Last day (sort of)

2007-02-25T09:01:00.000-08:00

Still up in the air on the issue of how much to study tomorrow, figure I'll see how much I get through today and then play it by ear tomorrow...

Cha Cha is Not My Dance

2007-02-24T22:00:00.000-08:00

Kind of had my first minor anxiety attack this afternoon. I sat down to do the last remedy question in BarBri's essay book (July '03, question 2) and was all set to apply "Cha Cha Is my Dance," "I Puff Five Bags Daily (some may prefer "Im Doing Fine Mom and Dad"), "Very Good Dog" and the rest of Conviser's assorted catchy little phrases, only to get nailed with an essay that didn't allow me to apply any of them. I had absolutely no idea where to even begin.

I stared at it for a couple of minutes before flipping it over and reading the answer. It was at this point, after seeing the phrases "purchase money resulting trust" and "time when consideration furnished," that I almost hucked my computer out the window and headed for the nearest exit. The question sucks, and of course, its not really covered anywhere. Fortunately, I downloaded the sample answer online from the Cal Bar website, and felt significantly better after seeing that neither answer came close to matching the depth and breadth of BarBri's answer.

All I know is that I'm glad that this is almost over, it's starting to get to me, and I can't even begin to express how much I'm looking forward to finishing this miserable trip on Thursday.

A man with a can

2007-02-23T07:35:00.000-08:00

Starting to get a little dismayed at what I've lately passed of as food. Nothing I've been eating will be featured on the food pyramid anytime soon. Food items that come in packages (ramen) and cans have made up the overwhelming bulk of my diet. Fingers crossed that I avoid scurvy or the plague during the next week...I'll resume healthy living afterwards.

The final countdown

2007-02-23T07:08:00.000-08:00

No thanks to my neighbor and his electric guitar, I finished my pre-final review last night. I'm done with essays, finished MBEs a week ago, and may look at some of the PT task memos, but I doubt I'll get around to doing it. Instead, I'm going to make sure I know as much of this shit as possible. In particular, I want to go over the little stuff that I knew really well last time and from law school and, as a result, kind of glossed over this time (pretty much all of torts), and some of the more obscure rules that occasionally show up on the bar (i.e., business torts, stock distribution, mayhem etc). Can't believe this is almost over, I'm really looking forward to being done with this once and for all.

Wanting to go postal on my neighbor

2007-02-22T18:19:00.000-08:00

Until today, I've had no reason to complain about my upstairs neighbor. Sure he looks like someone who devotes the majority of his time between finding himself a mail-order bride and playing dungeons and dragons, but I very much subscribe to the live and let live school of thought, and until this evening, couldn't have given a shit about whatever it is he does with himself.

I fully planned on continuing to adhere to this policy of equal parts avoidance and indifference, until this evening, when he decided to bust out his electric guitar and play what I can only describe as some sort of original composition incorporating the worst of 80s hair metal stadium rock with the type of power chords usually associated with ‘satan is my master’ style death metal. He must be some sort of genius, as only a true visionary would be able to come up with something that is literally this bad.

Ordinarily I would run upstairs and tell him to fuck off, but I’m afraid he’ll sacrifice a goat or something and totally fuck me for the bar, also since he doesn’t complain when I throw parties in my apartment, I see no reason to give him an excuse to call the cops the next time I do. I Tomorrow, I think I'll point my speakers towards the ceiling and leave a PMBR CD on repeat at full volume before going to library. Fucker...

In one week...

2007-02-22T07:27:00.000-08:00

we'll all be done with this shit, hopefully once and for all...

I call bullshit

2007-02-21T19:21:00.000-08:00

I was in a law school library today and ran across a guy I sort of know from my BarBri class last summer. He’s not a particularly close acquaintance but we usually kick the shit around and discuss whatever it is we’ve been working on. He’s super competitive and never fails to mention how many hours a day he studies, how he’s averaging 90% on his MBE’s, and all sorts of other shit (he had also previously given me a Sakai style iron clad ‘community property will be on exam’ guarantee that he would pass the bar last summer, so much for that one). Today, he told me that he’s been averaging well over 12 study-hours a day, and after pretending to be impressed, I went back to memorizing my community property outline for the last time.

I only stuck around the law library for about 5 hours, but I have to say that between talking on his cell phone, checking email, and talking to everyone else about how much work he’s been doing, I’d guess that he might have managed to put together a grand total of 2 hours on anything remotely related to actual study. Obviously he considers checking his dating profile on match.com in his daily 12 hour study-a-thons (I wasn’t snooping, but his laptop was directly in my line of site). The one thing I’ve learned from law school, and the bar for that matter, is that pretty much anyone who feels the need to brag about how much work they do, or how much time they put in is utterly full of shit.

I realize that the law and gamesmanship are basically synonymous with each other, nevertheless, it is kind of satisfying to watch someone who is so obviously full of shit fail to back up anything he says. Anyway, enough rambling, time to get back to the never ending joy that is civ pro.

Merde

2007-02-20T16:36:00.000-08:00

I can't believe that there is only a week to go. I guess time flies when you're having fun, or something like that. Can't wait to be rid of this shit once and for all.

BarBri's Graded Essays

2007-02-20T15:20:00.000-08:00

I thought I'd enclose a response to an email I just received from a friend, who is taking the bar for the first time, wanting to know how I did on BarBri's graded essays, and whether I thought that they had any correlation to failing the bar.

Based on my own experience, and others I've talked to, I think its safe to say that there is most likely no correlation between the grades received and actually passing or failing the bar.

I think the context in which they're graded is important. I don't know how many graders BarBri actually employs, but my guess is that the number is pretty small. Judging from the extreme delay between handing them in and getting them back, I think its also safe to say that regardless of how many graders there are, they must be seriously overworked. Add the sheer number of exams involved and I think its pretty easy to see why they can't carefully read each essay.

Second, the comments on my essays/PTs were border line nonsensical. On several occasions, I received a note that I had neglected to discuss a particular sub-issue when, in fact, I had discussed it but failed to put it under a separate heading. It seemed that the graders were really only reading the headings to check issue spotting and then barely reading the rest of the essay. Further underscoring this point was the fact that I passed all but one the essays. With the email deadline looming, I retyped and handed in the property model answer with just enough variation so that it wouldn't look like it had been copied. When I did finally get it back (after almost three weeks and several complaints), I was somewhat surprised to find that I didn't receive a passing score. It was fairly obvious that whoever graded it barely looked at it. I will say that some of my essays did have fairly detailed responses, but this was definitely not the norm.

Finally, several of my friends failed most, if not all, of the essays but passed the exam. On the other hand I passed all but one of them, but nevertheless am studying for this a second time.

In short, I think it is a big mistake to get caught up in what you did or didn't get on the assignments. In the end, I don't think there is any substitute for knowing the material as cold as possible and performing on exam day.

The Nightmares Begin

2007-02-19T09:20:00.000-08:00

Guess it was only a matter of time, but had my first bar related nightmare last night. Had a few before the bar in July (usually involving my laptop bursting into flames mid-test), but was surprised that they really began in earnest after the bar and again just before results in November (almost always involving near photographic recall of individual MBE questions). Last night I woke up in mid dream while trying to figure out the precise language for intermediate scrutiny (something I previously would have told you I could do in my sleep). Not the worst dream in the world, but I imagine that I'll be seeing a lot more of the bar at night during the next week.

Update: Studied Ignorance posted earlier this morning on the same topic.

My Essay Predictions

2007-02-18T18:23:00.000-08:00

Here's my contribution to the dubious science of essay predictions....

A quick note on methodology: Not having a magic-8 ball handy, I decided to write each subject on a piece of paper and then draw them out of a paper bag. In order to control for crossover questions, I first rolled a pair of dice from an old monopoly set to determine where the crossover questions would be (I rolled 3 and 5) and then drew a total of eight subjects and assigned the extra subjects to the numbers I had previously rolled. Also, I treated wills and trusts as separate subjects, but decided to keep crim pro and crim together.

Community Property
Property
Crim/Crim Pro and Wills
Professional Responsibility
Civ Pro and Corporations
Torts

If my BarBri settlement check comes before next Tuesday, maybe I'll pony up 2.99/minute and see what the Psychic Friends Network have to say about the essays...can't be any worse than Barbri's predictions.

DISCLAIMER: The above referenced essay predictions are for informational/entertainment purposes only and were generated by the author who was in the process of getting fall down drunk for the last time before the bar. As such the author cannot take responsibility for any reliance in whole or in part on said predictions.

Best of Craigslist

2007-02-17T22:40:00.000-08:00

The Best of Craigslist is one of my favorite sites to procrastinate on (basically the best of the rants and raves section). Its not updated as frequently as I'd like, but the most recent update has a post that is somewhat related to what we're doing... Top 10 Law Firm Interview Questions.

After I posted, found this job posting on Craigslist via JdJive. Don't know who in their right mind would work for this asshole.

Real Estate Litigator - Top Dollar Paid (San Jose Downtown)
Well respected San Jose firm seeks Plaintiff's litagator with track record of VICTORIES. We specialize in Broker/Agent Fraud and Breach of Fiduciary Duty cases. If you don't have real estate trial experience, please don't waste your time. Depending on your results, you can earn up to $250,000.00 per year or more. Strong ethical values a must. Easy to get along with a must. Ability to work independently a must. Winning the cases CRUCIAL. If you qualify, please email your resume with salary/compensation history AND a synopsis of your five most successful victories, whether at Trial, ADR, or settlement. If you don't respond to ALL of the above, unfortunately you will be eliminated from consideration. Will consider a contract attorney.

Mneumonics

2007-02-17T21:36:00.000-08:00

Una dona fantastica makes a hell of a good point about mneumonics:

As I mentioned in a previous post, some of the Adachi mnemonics are pretty odd. Like, the mnemonic for crimes, for example. What does "SAC BIMARK ALBERT PURE CF H" even mean and how is it supposed to be helpful to remember the crimes? I think an average person would waste precious time during the exam trying to remember the mnemonic itself. At least "ME BITCHSLAP REARFUCK BAR" (using the exact same letters) would not only be easy to remember but it would also provide the necessary motivation to learn the law. I think I will have to send Adachi an email concerning this...

Considering that the various bar review courses exist for one purpose, to ~~make money~~ help us pass the bar, I can’t understand why they always beat around the bush and make things more difficult by giving us utterly incomprehensible mnemonics. According to PMBR's Evidence MIG 9 (MIG being the Multistate Issue Graph - why this deserves a mneumonic of its own is beyond me) if you take the time to learn the following clusterfuck, ADDEM P. BOPP, SEE ICI you will then know all the hearsay exceptions. I'm sure if Conviser, Adachi, Feinberg et al actually took the time to come up with phrases such as "ME BITCHSLAP REARFUCK BAR" that the pass rates out of their classes would skyrocket. I guess America's more puritanical impulses also extend to the bar.

I See Dumb People

2007-02-17T18:35:00.000-08:00

As the bar once again draws near, it seems that the idiots are emerging out of the woodwork at an alarming rate to offer misplaced words of encouragement and advice. I don’t know if stress is causing me to turn into a caustic asshole, but my tolerance for this shit is currently at about a one out of ten (with zero being a nuclear meltdown and ten being Mother Theresa like tolerance for all).

Today, a soon to be former friend from law school called to tell me that I “should definitely study property,” because “it’s a big subject.” Obviously before I received this little pearl of wisdom I had no idea that 1) I might find property on the exam, and 2) that I should study it. I think I’m going to scream if someone tries to tell me “you should take lots of breaks so you don’t burn out…blah, blah, blah.” At this point, this is easier said then done. The endless tidbits of trivia and advice are also starting to get old. I know I need to get rest and eat well, brush my teeth, and wipe my ass etc., but it’s starting to get old, really fast.

I realize that it’s probably hard to know what to say to someone you know who has failed (especially if you passed) or is about to take the exam, but I think that using a little common sense is in order.

Tactical Considerations

2007-02-17T17:13:00.000-08:00

In light of how much time is left, its time to start making tactical decisions about what subjects/sections to push to the back burner and which ones to focus on. After today, I’m going to stop doing multiple-choice practice questions. I didn’t touch my PMBR books during the last two weeks of July, and more or less figure I'll stick with about the only thing that worked last time.

In the end, I feel that I’m going to sink or swim with essays. It was my poorest section (although getting a 50 on the second PT sure as hell didn’t help), so I’m going to spend the bulk of my time outlining/writing essays and memorizing (or re-memorizing, in my case) as much of the law as possible. I’m going to try to do at least one full length cross-over question a day, and may, depending on how I feel do one more PT (but will probably just outline it).

Sakai's Essay Predictions

2007-02-15T18:06:00.000-08:00

From a reliable source....

More Likely

Property (apparently he predicted easements, conveyancing, or cross over with torts)
Professional Responsibility (so obvious you can hardly call it a prediction).
Community Property (of course he was extremely certain on this one last time)
Remedies

Likely

Crim/Pro
Con Law
Civ Pro
Evidence

Less Likely

Contracts (remedies cross-over perhaps?)
Torts
Corporations
Wills and Trusts

I wouldn't exactly bet the farm on these. Although, I did run across someone the other day who swore that she was going to spend the last week only studying whatever he predicted. Maybe I'll call the psychic friends network and see what they have to say...

UPDATE: Studied Ignorance has the predictions from Barpassers

What I'm doing now

2007-02-14T16:18:00.000-08:00

Lately I've reduced the number of MBE practice questions I've been doing, haven't been doing as well on them lately (probably over thinking them) so I decided that I could probably use a break from them. I'm planning on outlining 2-3 more PTs between now and the Bar, but am spending the majority of my time on the essays.

I'm trying to write out 2-3 per day under timed conditions, and spend the rest of the time outlining essays and writing out the rules to strengthen my issue spotting skills. One thing I've found particularly useful is to test myself with my flashcards by typing out the answer as if I were writing the rule for the actual essay exam. I've found this to be very useful both for making sure that I learn the rules, but more importantly to ensure that when it comes to exam time I'm not sitting there trying to figure out how to translate the million elements for a particular rule into a succinct and coherent statement of the law.

Two weeks and counting

2007-02-13T07:17:00.000-08:00

Had a breakthrough this weekend and have been studying my ass off. Still hate this more than anything. I can't wait for this to be over, but at the same time, I wish I had two more weeks to prepare. At any rate, I'm just glad this is almost done.

Notes from the Doldrums

2007-02-08T18:35:00.000-08:00

Still massively burned out. Tried to do some Con Law multiple choice (my best subject, until today) and must have gotten less than 40% right. I'm tired, and no matter how many times I read a question, diagram the question, keep my eyes open with toothpicks, etc., I can barely focus on whatever it is I'm supposed to be doing. I'm sick of this, and now, more than anything just want it to be over.

Burned Out

2007-02-07T15:12:00.000-08:00

No matter how hard I try, I'm starting to feel seriously burned out. I'm sick of studying, sick of thinking about the bar all the time, and especially sick of the material. I fucking hate contracts, and loathe even thinking about opening my conviser outline or doing some multiple choice questions.

I think I'm stuck in a phase where the test still seems a little too remote for me to start panicking and really hit the books hard. I'm putting in about 8-9 hours a day, of which only about 75% is actually productive. Hopefully, I'll get my ass in gear over the next couple of days and do more than I'm currently doing.

Progress Report

2007-02-02T17:17:00.000-08:00

Had computer problems which prevented me from posting. Hopefully they've been ironed out so that I won't have to deal with a computer melt-down on exam day. More or less finished reviewing the substantive subjects and am planning on spending the next 3+ weeks focusing on practice essays, which played a decisive role in my failing score. Took a practice MBE and did well enough that I'm going to put the multiple choice on the back burner for a while. I figure that 25-30 MBEs per day should be enough to keep me in the ballgame. Need to do some PTs, but keep procrastinating. I don't think there is anything more boring than the PT.

Behind the Times

2007-01-25T17:15:00.000-08:00

Thanks to the bar, I've been a little behind the curve when it comes to the news. Didn't realize it until today, but Momofuku Ando, the inventor of the ramen noodle square and the cup-o'-noodle died a couple weeks ago. But for Mr. Ando and his miracle invention, I would not have been able to afford to eat and simultaneously destroy my liver during undergrad and law school. I'm eternally grateful for the fact that I could always justify another round of drinks or other recreational activities knowing that my next meal could cost as little as 20 cents.

A Day in the Merde

2007-01-25T17:10:00.000-08:00

I'm starting to really hate the material. I didn't find law school particularly interesting, but every now and then I managed to drum up something approximating interest some of the topics. On rare occasions, I also find the bar material somewhat interesting. When this happens, the days move somewhat more quickly. Unfortunately, these days are increasingly few and far between.

I've come to the conclusion that I pretty much hate the law. Maybe actually practicing law, as opposed to playing the role of peon law clerk and bar failure extraordinaire, will be better. But then again, it may suck just as much. All I know is that once this is over, I'm going to have to figure out whether or not I really want to devote myself to this for the rest of my life.

State of the Union

2007-01-23T18:19:00.000-08:00

Today was seriously the most unproductive day ever. I think I managed to do a grand total of 50 Con Law MBE questions. So, I'm going to stop trying to pretend that I'm going to study. In honor of Bush's 28% approval rating...I'm going to celebrate the state of the union (the state of my bar result, and the state of Bush's by now apparent alcoholism) by playing the state of the union drinking game.

I'm guessing I'll be fall down drunk by 6:35...

Hapless Law Grads 1, Barbri 0

2007-01-17T18:48:00.000-08:00

I was only aware of the class action suit against BarBri in Southern California. Apparently there is a second anti-trust suit filed in NY. Apparently, the Plaintiffs just survived summary judgment and the case still has some life in it. Never took anti-trust law or unfair competition, so I frankly couldn't give a shit about the technical nitty-gritty details of the claim. However, I do very much give a shit about recouping as much money from a class action settlement/award as possible from the greedy fuckers.

Nevertheless, found a few interesting tidbits from the article discussing the case.

"The evidence suggests that BAR/BRI used its substantial market share to control competition, boost prices and potentially force unwilling consumption of its [multistate] instruction," Judge Pauley wrote.

I realize that pretty much any class action settlement is bullshit, and should the miracle occur, I'll probably get some sort of coupon entitling me to the Conviser outline of my choice... nevertheless its still pretty nice to hear that I'm not the only one to think that the fact that BarBri is the only game in town is a little fishy. My eyes pretty much glazed over reading the rest of the article, but then I came to this little piece of trivia:

BAR/BRI courses generate approximately $125 million in revenue and $60 million in profit a year, according to the ruling.

Shit, that's not bad for paying a few flunkies to insert a couple of DVDs twice a year. All-in-all, I can't really complain about the actual BarBri classes, but I sure as hell can complain about the price. I'm sure they'll settle this eventually, but either way I'm looking forward to getting at least a BarBri mug or something when it does eventually settle.

Essay Subjects I'm Currently Dreading...

2007-01-17T18:13:00.000-08:00

...Seeing on Exam Day (much less having to study for)

Property (in all of its miserable forms)
Evidence (especially the transcript questions-did one the other day and got slaughtered)
Contracts (least favorite subject of all time)
Civ Pro (not the worst, but can be a real downer at times)
Anything involving any combination of the words remedies, real property, and/or contracts

I'm guessing that we'll be hit with the mother load of "crossovers" this time around...Fuck

Greatest Study Plan Ever...

2007-01-17T16:08:00.000-08:00

Ran across a repeater today who tried to tell me that he wasn't studying corporations this time around since it was tested last time. When pressed, he added that he might briefly look at it the day before the exam to refresh his memory. Maybe his Magic-8 Ball tells him things mine doesn't, but to me this is maybe the stupidest thing I've heard in a long line of stupid things related to the bar.

Theoretically, you could apply this method, and also eliminate contracts, torts, PR, wills and trusts, con law, and remedies, thereby allowing oneself to peruse the remaining subjects at a leisurely pace. I can only imagine how this strategy will work should corporations, or anything else, make a repeat appearance. I would shit a proverbial brick if I were in his shoes and found myself looking at a question about nimble dividends or some other shit. I'm guessing that approaches such this go a long way towards explaining the rather dismal success rate for repeaters.

Goodbye Isolation

2007-01-13T15:24:00.000-08:00

As I’ve written before, I think that one of the hardest parts about failing the bar is the utter sense of isolation that comes with it. For me connecting with the 20% (give or take) of my class who also failed was difficult given the fact that I was only really close with one other person who failed, who for a variety of reasons isn't re-taking the bar. Although sympathetic, non-lawyers don't really understand the sheer time, energy and financial resources that are involved with taking, much less, failing the bar, and are therefore not the best group of individuals to talk to. I still find myself avoiding those who passed, but based on my limited contact with this group, generally feel like they regard me as if I just failed out of rehab. Until you've done it yourself, its really hard to understand what its like.

In light of this, I think one of the main reasons that I took the performance test seminar was to meet other people who also didn’t pass. It was a breath of fresh air to meet a class full of equally capable, smart and intelligent fellow failee’s. Other bloggers have compared failing the stages of grief that accompany the death of a close friend or relative. I agree with this analogy, as I found myself experiencing the majority of the emotions that follow the grieving process. To be sure, failing the bar is nowhere near as bad as losing someone close to you, but after having experienced both, I can say that the range of accompanying emotions are kind of similar. I feel like I'm finally starting to break the cycle of shock, fear, anger, blame and despair. Meeting others certainly helped me break out from the almost constant feelings of despair and self-loathing. I know that there will be days when I feel like shit because of this, but a least these days are increasingly fewer and far between.

John Holtz’s PT Seminar

2007-01-09T17:00:00.000-08:00

Finished Holtz’s PT seminar the other day. All in all, I have to say that I’m glad I took it. I was decidedly less than impressed with Honigsberg’s PT lectures. I came out of it with the understanding that all you had to do was to make sure that the instructions were reflected in your section headings, and that by being a sheep you could definitely succeed in the closed universe of the PT exam. Obviously this approach worked for many, but it certainly didn’t work for me.

I was pretty skeptical about Holtz’s PT workshop. I didn’t know anyone who had taken it, and so I could only rely on limited information gleaned from the various bar related message boards. My sense was the people either swore by the class, or decided that his methods were too complicated to be of any use. After three, rather long and grueling days, I came away decidedly impressed.

His system (which I'm precluded from discussing under the terms of a non-disclosure agreement) was complex, but certainly workable. I liked how he encouraged the class to adapt his system to suit our needs, as opposed to most other classes that heavily push their method as being the only method to pass. However, the most valuable element of the lectures was the sheer number of tests that he forced us to dissect. I now feel that I have a much clearer understanding of what is, and isn't, necessary to write a passing answer. I'm not saying that the workshop is for everyone, but I'm certainly glad that I stumbled onto it.

The Performance Test

2007-01-05T10:53:00.000-08:00

Not fucking up second performance test on day 3 would have gone along way towards a passing score on my part. I don’t know if the 50 (65 on the first one) I received was due to exhaustion or overconfidence on my part. I clerked extensively through law school and may not have taken the PT as seriously as I should have. It may have just not been my afternoon. Whatever it was, I’m determined not to screw them up again. I found BarBri’s classes on the PT to be just shy of useless. So I decided to shell out a couple hundred bucks for a performance test workshop. I don’t have high hopes for the workshop, but figure that it can’t hurt either…

T Minus...Whatever

2007-01-02T20:03:00.000-08:00

Apparently there are 56 days until the bar exam. I’m finally starting to feel some urgency about this. This was not the case until today. I tried to study during the holidays and lugged my books around but only managed to revise a couple of outlines and do something like 32 multiple-choice questions, most of which I bombed. I counted backwards using my old Paced Program to create a new schedule, it seems that I don’t have to start torts until Friday...

I feel ready to throw myself into this full-time, but am stuck working 9-5 for another week and a half so that I can keep myself somewhat solvent during the run-up to the bar. I’m planning on putting in 4-5 hours a day after work until next week, after which, thanks to what will likely be a steady diet of ramen noodles and Kraft Dinner, I should be able to study full time without selling my soul to visa.

Holiday Recap

2007-01-02T13:41:00.000-08:00

Haven’t posted for a while due to extended hangover better known as the holidays. All in all, not too bad, kept finding myself fighting this urge to bolt the room or individual conversations whenever talk turned to anything job or bar related. But when forced into conversations usually skirted the issue whenever possible – i.e., “yes I’m still working for ____ law firm, yeah, its okay… blah, blah, blah.” Couldn’t figure out if people were being polite by not asking or genuinely didn’t know. Whatever, I managed to get through the holidays with my liver intact, which is always good news.

Greatest Line from an Administrative Action...

2006-12-21T15:53:00.000-08:00

From Political Animal

"The precise definition of "shitbag" is unclear, but Complainant and Respondent agree that it is a derogatory term."

Link

Why I hate the California Bar...Part III

2006-12-16T16:43:00.000-08:00

The model answers are finally posted for the July 2006, California bar exam. I haven't had much time to look them over yet, but I couldn't help but notice that someone inserted an answer for a contracts essay involving the sale of computers as the model answer for Question 1. How this relates to an intentional torts/negligence question is beyond me.

I didn't originally plan on posting one screed after another detailing the incompetence of the Committee of Bar Examiners, but once again they've made it impossible not to. I can't imagine that it would have been too difficult to match the model answers with corresponding questions. But then again, I obviously failed to demonstrate the level of perfection - as demonstrated by the Committee - necessary to pass the exam.

Thanks to Law School...

2006-12-15T14:21:00.000-08:00

... I see possible torts everywhere. According to recent census data:

More people are injured by wheelchairs than by lawnmowers, the abstract reports. Bicycles are involved in more accidents than any other consumer product, but beds rank a close second.

Wonder if any PI attorneys specialize in bed injuries?

Why I Hate the California Bar: Reason #10 Billion Part II

2006-12-14T10:12:00.000-08:00

According to page 4 of the yellow Information for Unsuccessful Graduates, the selected answers from the July bar were supposed to be posted by the first of December. Of course, two weeks later and they are nowhere to be found. This isn't my most urgent concern at the moment, but, given the utter lack of feedback on my returned exam is, it would be nice to at least have something to compare them to. Par for the course, I guess...

PMBR is Awesome

2006-12-13T16:47:00.000-08:00

I received a envelope from PMBR today inviting me to re-take any number of their course offerings. According to PMBR, I'll “need to re-tool and get mentally prepared for the next go around.” This was obviously a shock to me as I had no idea that either would be particularly useful the second time around. I also learned “the essays and performance tests are also very challenging and often time graded in an arbitrary and subjective manner.” This passage piqued my interest and caused me to wonder how exactly is PMBR going to help me prepare for such an arbitrary challenge (I also wondered whether or not I had somehow slept through the portion of the six-day course that discussed the PT and essays).

The letter invited me to call to "discuss my situation" and "how to prepare for the upcoming exam", which I promptly did. Unfortunately, the service rep clearly had no idea how one could surmount such an arbitrary and subjective challenge, much less what I might have done wrong on the performance tests, but did helpfully inform me that I could pay an additional 995 dollars to take the “Ultimate Tutorial.” Naturally, all questions concerning what exactly makes this tutorial more ultimate than the six-day course went unanswered.

PMBR also helpfully enclosed a few testimonials, which would make even Trotsky blush. According to Yulia, she is so pleased with PMBR that whenever anyone asks her how she passed, she responds by writing “PMBR, and highlight[sic] it in yellow, circle it in red, and underline it in black.” Any momentary compulsion to pick up the phone once again and talk to PMBR a second time was quickly overcome by an even greater interest as to how Yulia manages to always carry one yellow, one red, and one black pen with her whenever she is asked about her bar passage. She is obviously more resourceful than I, which probably explains why she passed and I didn’t. The best letter apparently came via email from an individual, who not only managed a feat of technological prowess that continues to eluded me – namely figuring out how to place his handwritten signature in the body of an email, but this person also announced that he is “open to a deal if [PMBR] would be interested in using [his] name and score in [their] promotional materials.” There was no indication from the letter whether or not PMBR did in fact take him up on his offer.

Nevertheless, and despite all of the exceedingly persuasive testimonials, I’ve decided not to re-take PMBR. I don’t really see the point. I managed to pass the MBE, while bombing the essays, and therefore feel that my time would be better spent working on my essay writing skills. In the end I thought that the PMBR materials were significantly better than BarBri’s (I know some may disagree), but felt that the class was more or less a waste of time (as was BarBri’s MBE weekend lectures). So I’ve decided to use my trusty eraser and resurrect my red and blue books in an attempt to eliminate another drain on my meager bank account..

Why I Hate the California Bar: Reason #10 Billion

2006-12-12T15:59:00.000-08:00

As I was filling out the yellow sheet to pick up my exam when I came across a notice that unless I paid 40 bucks to receive a copy of my exam (as opposed to the original), I would permanently waive any right to apply for reconsideration. In light of the previous post, I seriously considered paying to preserve this right, but I couldn’t find a working bank machine and it was raining, so I decided to fuck the 40 dollars.

All I can say is that after quickly scanning my test packet, thank god for the rain and general laziness on my part. Apparently, when you get your test back, there isn’t a single marking or notation that would allow one to figure out how the grader arrived at the particular score on a given essay.

Once again the California Bar has found an ingenious method to bilk even more money out of the whole bar experience. It’s a veritable catch-22. You have to pay the 40 bucks before you see your exam in the hopes that you might be able to challenge the test, but of course have no opportunity to determine whether or not the additional money is worth it by viewing the test beforehand. I’m sure quite a few individuals are lured into the trap, but in the end it’s a total scam. So, I’d like to congratulate the Committee of Bar Examiners for finding yet another ingenious way to prey on hapless bar examinees in their never ending quest to make a quick and easy buck. Fuckers.

Reconsideration

2006-12-12T14:27:00.000-08:00

According to the yellow sheet came with my rejection letter, the California Bar Committee will only consider requests for reconsideration only in the event of an arithmetical or clerical error.

I’m sure as hell hoping that when I pick up my test this afternoon that I will find myself furiously waiving my test in the face of a bar bureaucrat while pointing to the fact that some idiot failed to calculate my score correctly. I’ve been daydreaming about a scenario like this since receiving my score, I’m sure that deep down everyone who fails the bar entertains the idea that their result might have been the product of some sort of mathematical fuck-up. I'm also hoping that I will encounter a clerical error (whatever the fuck that means) as well. Considering the level of secrecy and paranoia that the Bar seems to operate under, I doubt very much that I will get to see anything that might demonstrate the presence of such an error.

Obviously, I know that the chances of this happening roughly approximate my chances of winning the California Lottery and simultaneously getting struck by lightning. Nevertheless, I’m keeping my fingers crossed that today will be my lucky day when I go pick up my test in 20 minutes.

A Plan of Sorts

2006-12-10T14:58:00.001-08:00

Without exception, everyone I've run across who is re-doing the exam asks what course I am going to take or plan I am going to follow during the run up to the bar. Currently, my thinking is that I don't really see the point in plunking down another 800+ dollars on a class that is going to re-hash the black letter law. I'm also leery of hiring a tutor for two reasons. First and foremost, I don't have the cash. Second, while I'm sure that there are many fine tutors out there, my guess is that most are pretty bad. During Barbri, I would frequently run across tutoring sessions in the student lounge at school. To be charitable, the sessions were dubious at best. The three tutors I observed, without exception, would just sit there and spew shitloads of jargon that, judging by the look on the student, made as much sense to me as to them - i.e., " use the checklist to manage the approach to achieve optimal results while focusing on the goal to harness the facts to come to a conclusion." I’m also not really sure how one goes about finding a suitable tutor. I love reading the paens on jdjive to individual tutors. My guess is that the overwhelming majority of posts have got to be by the tutor's themselves trying to drum up a little business. Mind you if I was in the tutoring business I would also drop as many posts extolling my significant powers to guide even the most hapless law grad through the bar exam. So fuck classes and tutors, I'm going to figure out my own study schedule and go from there.

I'm pretty confident that I'll be able to quickly learn the black letter law. Going in to July, I was fairly weak on a couple of subjects (especially property, can't imagine that I'll dodge that bullet a second time in February) and will use the time between now and January to brush up on my weak subjects. After Christmas, I'll resume doing PMBR questions and then create something akin to BarBri's paced study schedule to keep myself on some sort of program. In place of lectures, I'll review a course and then focus the majority of my time on doing as many essays as possible. I'm not sure what I'll do for the performance test, but given my rather shitty score, I need to figure something out. Obviously, this scheme of mine will probably be thrown out the window come January, but for now it sounds okay to me.

Can't say I'm feeling particularly motivated to devote whatever free time I might have to this shit, I'm hoping that some sort of motivation will kick in soon.

Isolation

2006-12-01T11:45:00.000-08:00

Failing the bar is the most isolating experience I've ever been through. The feeling of not really knowing anyone who is also going through this crap that I'm sure is universally attached to failing the bar is sometimes difficult to deal with. I have one friend who I know fairly well from law school who also failed, but that person has gone underground and has yet to make an appearance. I think the only reason I really ever considered re-taking Bar/Bri was to meet others who are also going through this, but I doubt that this alone is a good enough reason to plunk down another 800+ bucks to re-do the class.

89 Days and Counting

2006-11-30T11:38:00.000-08:00

So I have 89 days left until I get to repeat what was previously the three most enjoyable days of my life. I can't begin to explain how little I am looking forward to the month of February. I feel like I'm about to have my parole revoked as I will be forced, yet again, to immerse myself in the wonderful world of 13+ (depending on how you count certain subjects like crim and crim pro) of what are now my least favorite academic subjects of all time. Not knowing what else to do, I started downloading the PMBR cds onto my iPod. I've tried to listen to some of the stuff, but after about 3 seconds, utter boredom sets in and I start to daydream about anything but the lecture, thereby negating whatever benefit I might derive by listening to Daniel Fessler's discourse on the vagaries of consideration. I guess this weekend I'll start getting organized. This in all likelihood won't involve much effort on my part, probably just print out some outlines and put them in a binder or something. Although I get that gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach from just thinking about the bar, it still seems to far off to really start doing anything about it. I'd probably feel better if I did something, but then again, I don't want to burn myself out and have to repeat this fiasco a third time.

Thanksgiving - the Aftermath

2006-11-30T11:31:00.001-08:00

Actually, despite my dire predictions, Thanksgiving wasn't the looming disaster I predicted it to be. Granted, I got really drunk and remember very little of the evening. But the the good thing is I haven't heard any stories about me making an ass of myself either. I also don't remember being barraged with questions about the bar, which was great. If I had to guess, someone probably made the rounds and told everyone in advance that they shouldn't ask me about it, probably in the same way that they would caution each other not to discuss my predilection for PCP in advance of an intervention, if I were so inclined. Nevertheless, not an entirely terrible night. Could have done without the sweet potato marshmallow surprise - have no idea why someone always insists on bringing that disaster in a casserole dish - but the single malt scotch that I so generously helped myself to, was superb.

Thanksgiving

2006-11-22T13:11:00.000-08:00

Until this week, Thanksgiving was probably my favorite holiday. Now, I can't wait for it to be over. I'm already preparing myself for the barrage of cringe inducing questions involving all things bar related. A close relative, who did happen to pass the bar, will also be there, and I can't wait to be stuck in the same room with her while she gets peppered with congratulations and "are you glad its over" and other inane questions centering around what it feels like to finally be an attorney. I have a feeling that I'll be plastered with the type of sympathy one receives after being fucked out of all his money and then having to auction off a kidney to pay off credit card debt accrued to get in at the bottom of some new pyramid scheme, or what I imagine one would get after learning on national television that your wife cheated on you with the entire hockey team. More akin to the "sucks to be you" category of sympathy made while privately snickering behind my back.

I feel like I'm damned if I do show up, and damned if I don't. If I do show up, I'm pretty certain that it will be a fairly humiliating experience, but if I don't go I know it will only add fodder to fire of faux sympathy and allow them to talk about how poorly I'm handling this and "isn't it a shame he didn't feel up to joining us this year." So I'll take my lumps and show up, doubtlessly well on my way towards getting plastered, and hope that the night mercifully passes somewhat quickly.

So What Do You Think Happened?

2006-11-21T16:33:00.000-08:00

By far and away, this is the question I get most often. It's also really starting to get on my nerves. Obviously I failed the bar, what the fuck do they think happened? If they are hoping to receive an extended discourse by me, eminent bar failure extraordinaire, concerning the various pitfalls that I assume resulted in my failure, then they most certainly should not hold their breath. I always answer that I have no idea what happened, and that I won’t know until December 11 (somehow I think December 7th would have been a more fitting day to release the tests), while pledging to myself that even if I did know what had happened, I certainly wouldn't tell whoever is asking. Those individuals raised with good manners and possessing a modicum of social grace always leave it at that. On the other hand, bottom feeding cretins invariably insist on posing a follow- up question along the lines of, “but what do you really think went wrong?” To whom I can only respond, “hell if I know.” I'm guessing that this answer will eventually evolve into something more succinct involving the words 'fuck' and 'off.'

I wish I could say that I was struck down with an exotic disease that prevented me from completing my test, or that I encountered one of the myriad doomsday scenarios meticulously outlined by Professor Von Schnickelfritz (or whatever his name was) during the course of his otherwise less than stellar homilies on the joys of the performance test and how to avoid the various meteorological phenomena and encounters with sleeping pills that have previously felled hapless bar takers. Nor did my computer fuck up like everyone else around me, so I can’t blame it on the piece of shit that I obtained in response to the “special 1L discount,” which doubtlessly resulted in some sort of kick back to the administration’s Hawaii slush fund so that the dean and his entourage could engage in some serious team-building exercises in order to devise new ways to screw hapless law students out of their loan checks.

Nevertheless, I have to say that I’m starting to wonder myself. At this point, if I had to guess I would say that it was the contracts essay that most likely put my name in the do-over category. But then again it could have had something with the fact that the actual multiple choice questions had little to do with anything PMBR or Bar/Bri threw at me. No sense in over analyzing this one, at least until the mandarins who run the clusterfuck that is the Bar allow me to plunk down an additional eleven dollars plus however much it costs to get the damn form notarized so that I can see how I did on a test that I had previously paid a small fortune to take in the first place. Stay tuned, I guess….